You Must Remember To Love Yourself First


People come into our lives so suddenly and we forget they can leave just as quickly. Like falling meteors burning across the night sky, they shine onto our world for a fleeting moment and fade back into the darkness. They leave us in awe, utterly star-stuck, wishing to see them just one more time. We gaze up at the sky trying to catch another glimpse of magic because we know it’s rare, but we miss the things that are directly in front of us. It’s inexplicable how a person who was simply a stranger before can come to mean so much and make us question our lives before their presence. We were perfectly happy with our own agenda and falling for someone was never on our list of things to do. Then life throws in a plot twist and there they are with their alluring, charming wit. They captivate you with carefully thought out questions and clever lines. Flashing you a smile so radiant, you’d do anything to be the reason behind it. Their twinkling eyes are filled with intrigue as they look at you like you’re a mystery to be solved. Your heart never stood a chance.

Imagining that someone wants to see – maybe even love – the real you is an incredible feeling. We bend over backwards, at this person’s beck and call whenever they want us. It’s no surprise that when they walk away we’re left feeling empty and used. We’re left aching to go back to being blissfully ignorant of their existence. They hit us like a hurricane leaving our feelings behind in a wake of destruction, shaking our once sturdy foundation of self-confidence. It seems the walls that took so long for us to build came down with such ease.

Our feelings for others can often be so strong that we don’t want to acknowledge the reality that they’ve stopped caring for us. We lose ourselves trying to impress and hold on to people who are committed to letting us go. We disregard other relationships because we’re too busy romanticizing one. We make excuses for their actions and tell ourselves that the good times outweigh the bad. The worst thing about the whole situation is that we settle. We become comfortable with being another option and throw all of our ambitions to the wayside. It’s essential that in caring for others, we never lose sight of our own goals. Our dreams are the only things that can never be taken from us.

There is a saying that a thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place and circumstance. Every single person we meet has an impact on us and we would not be the same without any one of those encounters. Our lives are inherently defined by our interactions with one another, but that doesn’t mean we have to let other people define us. It isn’t selfish to realize that the most important person is yourself – it’s crucial in order to succeed. Don’t ever compromise yourself because honestly you are all that you’ve got.

Remember who you were before they came along. Remember your goals and dreams. Remember that their inability to see your worth does not decrease your value. You can’t force others to see that you’re worth it and you shouldn’t have to. The right people will already know how wonderful you are. Live your life, be whole on your own and wait for someone who compliments you. The most attractive people are those who are comfortable and happy with themselves. They find satisfaction in being independent and know that looking for someone to “complete” them only leads to disappointment. They also don’t compare themselves to others because they know that everyone’s journey is different. You can never be someone else. You can only become a better version of yourself.

The only thing constant in life is change and it’s a guarantee that people will continue to walk in and out of your life. Love is about putting someone else’s happiness before your own, but that doesn’t mean neglecting to love yourself. You can’t truly care for others until you care for yourself. Give them love, give them time, and give them honesty. But always remember to give those things to yourself first.