You Put Me Through Hell

Your hands didn’t even tremble
as you flung me in purgatory.
Limbo,
and I cannot bend my back enough,
Cannot stand tall enough,
Don’t know what you expect me to do.
How did I not see this before?
You keep coins in your pocket and I never know which side will fall out,
Two faces,
one man.
You throw pebbles at my window and I tell you to go home.
I will not wait forever,
and you cannot give me now.
So you say, “maybe”
you say, “soon”
We boomerang and you lasso moments I think I’m ready to escape.
You,
a silver-tongued devil wearing skinny ties,
Sipping my vulnerabilities straight from the bottle.
I know,
Something better sits in the distance but I’m afraid to approach,
Too stubborn,
Too foolish,
Too young and dumb to accept this is not serendipity.
So I pin my hands to my feet,
do not move,
this dangerous game.
Maybe I am more at home with sharks,
As they are honest with intentions.
I want to dive into the ocean
just to know
I won’t swim back into you.

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