You Will Miss Him No Matter What

You will miss him no matter what.
You will miss him no matter how he treated you and no matter how long or how little you had him,
You will miss him,
and you will want him to be the one that comforts you, 
and you will want to know why he did this to you
and you will scream at the world and be angry at even the flowers that grow from the soil of the Earth,
and you will collapse on the floor like a leaf falling from its tree
and you will feel lost like a tourist in a foreign city.
You will feel so numb that you will have to check if your heart is even beating.

and I am not going to sugarcoat it for you.
And I am not going to tell you he will come back and lift you out of your grave because,
the truth is you will have to stitch your body back together,
and you will have to be the one that cleans the waterfall of tears that have splashed your cheeks.
And no matter how much you wish for him to come back you will have to learn that stars are already dead, 
and you have to be the one that fixes your own gears of your contraption,
Because you are the only one that can swim when you’re drowning in your own blood.