You’re Allowed To Take The Time To Figure Out How To Love Yourself First


I’m not getting any younger. If you had told me when I was a teenager that I would be in my thirties and still lack romantic love, well, I would’ve either laughed in your face or started sobbing, depending on how my hormones were treating me that day. The point is that I never thought I’d be here.

The good news is that it isn’t all that terrible. I’ve grown into myself quite splendidly the last couple of years and I am excited for all that I have yet to achieve and accomplish. Being alone has helped me truly discover who I am and what I want. I’ve found my strength and my voice and my soul. I stand proud and strong now – a far cry from the fearful, shy, insecure girl I was only a short time ago.

The bad news is that I finally feel ready to attempt a mature relationship with a man who is my equal in all things, but he is nowhere to be found.

Yes, I will be okay on my own. I enjoy my life and it is plenty full as it is now. I have a strong network of wonderful people around me. I’m driven and focused and ambitious and busy. I know how to have a good time and I’m often very grateful to be single. There’s a lot to be said for the benefits. I’ve grown very accustomed to keeping my living space exactly as I like it, for example. I have complete freedom to do what I want and live as I see fit.

On the other hand, it’s taken a lot of time and hard work to get to a place where I feel like I can finally try to have a mature and deeply connected love with a like-minded man. I’m excited to be here. I want to share that joy with someone who loves and supports me in return. I’ve grown and I’ve changed and I’m committed to doing so for the rest of my life.

I can’t find a man who’s done the same.

I’m not going to waste my time searching too aggressively. I’ve tried that and it never does me any good. Patience is not my strong suit, though, and it’s tough to sit back and trust that the universe will bring me the love I need when I’m ready. It’s tough to know I have a huge heart and endless amounts of affection to bestow on the right person and have no one appreciate it.

For now, I’m taking this big mushy heart of mine and spreading the love elsewhere. This world has a shortage of kindness and compassion so I’ve decided it’s my duty to do what I can to change that. I want to be the best person I can in as large a capacity as possible.

I know that the right man will see me for who I am and know my value. I know that I’m a special human being and I am going to do my best to make every human I encounter see that they are also special. Achieving that goal means far more to me than fretting over finding a partner. Bringing a bit of happiness and light into someone else’s day is the best use of my time and I’m going to do that no matter what else happens. I don’t have to be in love. I am love.