Yours, Desperately


December 17th, 1947

Los Angeles, California

Miss Lorelei Hayworth (32), minor burlesque dancer and part time secretary, was found over the dead body of a Mr. Carter White (37), a press agent. She claims innocence. The letter below was found on her person.


Devour me, please. I want you to. You’ve already tainted me like the way fruit reddens the milk during your breakfast.

The first time I said I love you it tumbled from my lips like a loose tooth. It was sharp and heady as the whiskey you knocked back moments before. I forgot to tell you… I am a madwoman.

I’m quick to anger. I am voracious. I live in extremes. Some nights after the sweat cools I’m afraid I’m insatiable or just empty and not even you can fill me. These are all things you haven’t seen yet or only in manic flashes that come across as endearing to you. But they may not always be.

I’m telling you this not to push you away but because I want you, desperately. I need you to continue to look at me the same way. I need to prove to myself that I am more than this madness and that I can be loved fully and recklessly.

So please continue to look at me the same way, darling. My gift to you this December, enveloped by fresh snow and graced with my tears like the ornaments on our tree, is that I will be better next year. Promise.