10 Ways To Evade And Lose Everyone Around You
By Shibani Bedi
Evading is an art not easy to master. But with the right guidelines, there is no reason why you should fail to match up. All you have to do is, ensure that the cynical misanthrope in you never falls short of ammo for aggression and reasons to not meet people, or stick to a regimen or deadlines. Here are a few simple steps to help you ace the game.
1. Always have a sob story
Preferably a heart break. This is also where self sabotage comes into play. Family issues also count.
2. Watching psycho thriller/slasher movies can help you get into the sociopathic zone
Even TV shows and books work.
3. Gain weight
Or get a bad haircut. Or both.
4. Find yourself a job which you loathe
Where you get swamped with work. The ‘I am so busy’ excuse works like a charm when reasoning with friends who wouldn’t leave you alone on weekdays.
5. Make sure you always make it obvious to whoever cares that you ‘hate this city’
And want to move to the hills. It makes for a good build up to why you won’t get out.
6. Never ever stop moping
Or being vindictive.
7. Have inferiority complexes and insecurities
Loads of them. Nurture them carefully and if need be guise them as being judgmental or prudent. Having serious vices helps.
8. Convince yourself and your friends that you are a fly-by-night trooper
Especially if your presence in their life at that point is imperative. It is by far the best form of social harakiri. But make sure you bend this rule every time you need your friends. They will eventually drop you by elimination.
9. Master the art of lying
And subsequently the art of remembering your lies.
10. Selfishness is a virtue
Remind yourself that first thing every morning.