11 Things You Can Forgive Yourself For


1. Changing your mind about someone. You can shit talk circles around a person and then one day realize that they’re not so bad after all. IT HAPPENED TO ME: I was a total bitch to my future best friend! It’s natural to feel horrible after you spent 365 days of concentrated hatred on someone who’s your actual SOULMATE, not to mention it’s always embarrassing when you realize you were totally wrong about something. But hey! People change, including them, including you — and your opinions are going to have to adjust accordingly. Forgive yourself for being wrong, it’s only going to happen again and again.

2. On that note, you can forgive yourself for falling out of love. Love is a choice you make every day, and if it’s eventually a choice that makes you want to stand in front of a train, it’s not a healthy one. No one enters a relationship with the intention of murdering someone’s will to live, but you shouldn’t sacrifice your happiness for someone else’s illusion of it.

3. And while we’re on the subject, don’t hold it against yourself if you don’t want to be friends with someone anymore. Just because you knew each other in diapers or your parents <3 their parents doesn't mean you're bound to them — or anyone — for all eternity. It's your life, and you should be actively deciding on who you want in it and whose expiration date has arrived.

4. No sweat if you're in a bad mood. Don't punish yourself just because you're feeling off. Aren't you alienated enough already? Bad moods come and go. So do sad spells. Just be aware that bad moods scramble your brain and cause you to not think straight, then revisit things like socializing and being an agreeable human being at a later time.

5. Forgive yourself for running late. This is how bad days begin. Just breathe and take the situation for what it is. You can't make traffic move any quicker, you can't make the subway get to your destination any faster, and something you did to set this stressful ball in motion — wake up late, take too long to get ready, etc. — is something you DID. Past tense. Focus on what you can do now, not what's already happened.

6. Cheated on your diet? You are forgiven. One bad meal doesn't mean you have to totally relapse back into your bad habits. Mistakes happen one meal at a time. You can easily turn this train around, honey.

7. It's OK if you got too fucked up. Unless you committed some kind of legal/ moral atrocity, no one will remember how you spent half of the evening trying to convince a houseplant to come home with you. OK, they will. But they're laughing with you, not at you. All right, that was a lie, too. Just… get a sense of humor.

8. Never feel ashamed for saying how you feel. Even if it doesn’t get you what you want (and in some cases, totally mortifies you) you’re braver than millions of tongue-biting people at any given moment. Telling the truth is difficult, and you should never beat yourself up for it.

9. Fighting dirty. We’ve all said and done some nasty shit in the heat of the moment, and it’s not chic, but it’s OK. Just be prepated to offer a genuine apology if you owe it to someone (and if you betrayed their trust to win an argument, you most certainly do).

10. Gaining weight. You’re not the first or last person to mutilate their favorite pair of jeans. Don’t freak out — either accept your new BMI or get thee to the gym.

11. Eating out when you’re “broke.” Staying in and cooking dinner-for-one every night is the fast track to Depressionville. Even when you’re low on funds, a tiny splurge can do a lot for your mental health. (Just… pregame before you get to the restaurant, money bags.)

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