12 Signs Your Dad Is An Overbearing Stupid Drunk (That Truly Loves You)


1. That sweet, sweet scent of Budweiser that hung over him at 7 a.m. (because he worked the night shift) when he kissed you goodbye as you left for school.

2. That one weekend where he didn’t have to work, he took the family out for dinner, got excessively drunk and picked up your sleeping body (and almost dropped you in the process).

3. He constantly asks you what you’re doing, where you’re going, and how you’re doing. (Answers vary from, “Nothing,” to “Nothing really.”)

4. The dinner he cooks up for you and your brother is either over-salted or really spicy. But you know, he cooked dinner.

5. He texts you things like: “Xawher 32p#” — but that’s only because he doesn’t know how to type on a numerical keyboard.

6. He confuses you with your sibling’s name, but he always gets it right on the second try.

7. That one time you asked for a sip of his beer and he gave it to you and laughed when you spit it out and cried like the idiot you are.

8. When he took you and your sibling out to the city to get a haircut, but instead, got lost and walked around Central Park until the sun came down.

9. He calls your phone over and over again until you pick up just to ask how you’re doing.

10. He makes up obvious lies, then forgets that he lied, and makes up another lie to try to cover his ass.

11. Your dad gave up alcohol because he wanted to live to see your children.

12. When he went to the Emergency Room, the doctors said he needed surgery, but his age was a factor, and that made you cry because you realized then just how big of an influence he was on your life.