15 Reasons Why Former Theater Kids Make The Absolute BEST Employees

1. Our highly competitive nature comes out in the best ways.

You say competitive, I say ambitious. You haven’t SEEN competitive until you’ve seen 12 short, slim, brunette girls in black dresses and knee-high boots belting out “On My Own” and fake crying, because they ALL believe they are the perfect Eponine. We are always striving to be the best, always striving to be in the spotlight. This makes us the most motivated, dedicated, and driven person in the office. We will do whatever it takes to be the lead (aka: numero uno); you just have to point us towards the goal and we’ll take off running. Or fouette-ing…whichever is appropriate.

2. You will never meet anyone as skilled in the multi-tasking department.

You show me a plan with 22 steps and I’ll show you my color coded binder with corresponding highlighters. Theater kids are used to having to juggle a lot of things and have come up with a myriad of ways to handle them all. Having to manage rehearsals, call backs, voice lessons, tap class, Method, on TOP of our “real life” has made us vastly equipped to manage anything and…well…everything. We aren’t afraid of taking on a lot, in fact, we live for it.

3. We know how to stretch a dollar.

Working in the arts is really tough, and wildly unpredictable. You may go from being in a show for eight weeks, to not having an audition for another six. We have to be smart, have to be good with a budget, and have to be able to stretch our money until that next check. I once heard someone say that a theater degree was like a business degree with less lectures, and I couldn’t agree more. Yes, I had to once spend a full hour glass miming peeling an orange, but I also learned how to hustle when I wasn’t playing Follies Girl #4 and being paid for it. We’ll be an incredibly savvy employees, and you’ll be really glad to have us around.

4. Improv and thinking on our toes comes second nature.

If there’s a problem, we’ll figure out how to solve it in two seconds flat. We’re naturals when it comes to brainstorming and coming up with new ideas. Sure, those ideas may come from a voice that is ~*PROJECTING*~ (I promise we’ll adjust to a normal decibel level someday) but they’ll be creative, intuitive, and we’ll have about 12 other options for you should our first suggestion not be acceptable.

5. We are unfazed by pretty much ANY personality type.

We grew up in a world with stage moms, prima donnas, crotchety directors, looney costumers, neurotic stage managers, and that one kid who took theater class for an easy A. We’ve seen it all. Go ahead and put us in a cubicle next to Negative Nancy or on the phone with the client everyone else dreads talking to. We’ll be fine.

6. Yes we’ll bring the fun, but we’ll also get the job done.

We were the kids in class who you would partner up with because you not only knew that everything would be accomplished, but we’d also make the process ten times more enjoyable. Sure, making Excel docs may not seem like a great time. But if we’re doing it while rapping along to Hamilton or playing “would or would not” with contestants from The Voice it’s going to be way more fun.

7. We aren’t afraid of getting our hands dirty.

Until you’ve taken off layers of kabuki makeup with cold cream and baby wipes, or seen what a foot looks like coming out of a three inch character shoe after a six hour rehearsal, I don’t want to hear it.

8. Communication is our middle name.

We literally have a degree in asking questions. You’ll never have to send an “I think there may have been a miscommunication” memo again because we simply won’t allow it. We’ll ask why, how, when, where, and everything else about a project or a task to make sure we can execute it to the absolute best of our ability. We didn’t beat out Rachel for Ariel in Footloose by sitting around HOPING we’d do a good job, and we won’t go in willy-nilly on a task for you either.

9. When we commit to something, we’ll finish it no matter what.

Sometimes you’re contracted to a show, and there’s no other way to say this but it just sucks. The rehearsal process is arduous, the group doesn’t gel, the director is difficult, and you feel miscast. But, you made a commitment, and so you suck it up, put on a happy face, and continue to jazz square like your life depends on it. Same goes for being stuck in a task or a project that we don’t totally love. While it may not be our favorite thing in the world, we recognize the importance of finishing what you start, and therefore always will. With that smile plastered on like we still have vaseline on our teeth.

10. Your constructive criticism will make us feel like we’re being coddled.

Seriously — you’re fine. Once in a callback I was told to take off my heels and the director said, and I quote,

“It’s too bad you’re so short. It makes him look like a pedophile next to you.”

We’ve been told we’re too short, too blonde, to flat chested, have a weird nose, look too Midwest, not Midwest ENOUGH, and so on and so forth. So saying, “You didn’t code this properly” is NOT going to offend us. I promise. You can shoot it to us straight, we’ll be okay.

11. While we’re natural leaders, we also have an unwavering respect for authority.

But, at the same time, we recognize that there is only one person who gets to call the shots and that is the director (aka: the boss). So even if we disagree with something, even if in the back of our minds we would have done something differently, we’ll still respect the people above us.

12. We will never complain about long days. Ever.

After going to class from 7 until 3, having private lessons from 3 until 5, and then rehearsals from 6 until midnight, a 9 to 6 where you don’t have a full hour for lunch feels like a cake walk. We’re cool.

13. We can bounce back from disappointment faster than you can even say it.

Sure, we’ve probably cried in our car over a cast list or two. But then we went out for sushi with our friends, laughed about Smash with them, and moved the hell on. We’re not going to be the bitter employee lingering in their office with a permanent raincloud above their head over jealousy and hurt feelings. We recognize that life’s too short, and there are too many musicals to sing in our showers to be upset about something for longer than necessary.

14. If we set a goal, we WILL achieve.

One of my favorite quotes about a girl I did theater with who made it big on Broadway was from a director in our town. He said, “She wasn’t the most talented girl I ever worked with, but she worked so hard she’d make you THINK she was.”

If we want something, we will figure out how to get it. It may take us a while, but we’ll never stop chasing our ambitions. You don’t end up as the lead in the show by sitting on your ass and talking about it. You get it by dancing harder, belting higher, and acting better than everyone else in the line up. You get it, quite simply, by working your ass off. This follows us wherever we go and we will be the most dedicated, hard working, person you’ve ever had around.

15. Let’s face it, the office parties will never be the same again.

Okay, OKAY. Another bonus? We’re a blast and half. Take us to karaoke or swing dancing. Seriously. Just do it. We’ll pull you up on stage for a rousing rendition of “Summer Nights” and teach people how to do candlesticks on the dance floor. You’ll love every minute of it.