16 Things You Should Know About Being A Human Before You Decide To Start Acting Like One
1. Everyone has weak spots, everyone has triggers, everyone has that one thing that can undo years of growth and progress. That’s because, despite what our brash internet presence might suggest, we are all fragile little beings. We can and will fall apart. Remember this the next time you feel intimidated by someone or are convinced they have no soul.
2. SOMETIMES PEOPLE SAY ONE THING AND THEN DO THE OPPOSITE. I KNOW IT’S REALLY CRAZY BUT SOMEHOW WE ALL MAKE IT THROUGH, HONEY.
3. Everyone’s scared of taking a risk. Some just deal better with the nervousness attached to it. Anxiety can either debilitate you or propel you forward. Which is it for you?
4. There are moments when you earnestly wonder, “Wait, um, does anyone love me?” Because, I don’t know, life is lonely sometimes and you need reminders. You need reminders that you matter to someone and that “this” all has a purpose.
5. No one deserves to be called a slut. Slut needs to be Ctrl+Alt+Deleted from our vernacular. Even the most feminist-y people I know still call others sluts and it’s like, “Nope. Sorry. If you want to be a part of our cool human being club, you need to stop doing that pronto.”
6. Sometimes people are gay and DON’T listen to pop music or have perfect bods AND sometimes they do!!!! It’s crazy, right? Diversity? People wanting different things for their mind, body and souls? I KNOW. Don’t let it hurt your brain though! Just process it and accept it! Yay!!!
7. Everyone, at some point, has been like “WTF ew!” when they’ve looked at themselves naked in the mirror.
8. A lot of the reasoning behind someone’s behavior can be summed up thusly: “I don’t want to die alone.”
9. Want to see someone act totally insane and contrary to their true character? Watch them fall in love!
10. Or, better yet, have them get dumped. Cruelly. Then sit back and grab the popcorn. Shit’s going to get real weird.
11. The internet is a place where humans go to be outraged about things and post pictures of the pizza they just made from scratch.
12. Most of the people who claim to hate everything actually hate themselves. Oops! It must be a mammal thing.
13. Monogamy is something we’re not necessarily wired to do as humans. Hence cheating and the MONSTER success of Adele/most fattening foods.
14. People like it when they’re reminded that they’re not alone in their psycho thoughts. They don’t, however, appreciate when someone makes them feel crazy. All anyone ever wants to do is feel normal/justified in their actions. Can you do that?
15. Model humans are Anderson Cooper, Neil Patrick Harris, Jim Halpert from The Office, Tina Fey, and Morgan Freeman’s voice (not who he is as a person because the dude sleeps with his step-granddaughter.) People who fail at being humans are Ann Coulter, members of the Westboro Baptist Church and King Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Learn accordingly.
16. When people ask you what kind of music you like, DON’T say “anything but country.” Humans hate that!