17 Insights On Relationships From The Perpetually Single Friend

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I’ve been compiling this list for a long time, during most of which I was the “perpetually single friend.” Even though my relationship status isn’t necessarily ticking that box these days, I will always feel a kindred relationship with that friend. And here are my insights on relationships having been that person.

1. The happiest couples are always the ones that laugh the most, the ones that don’t take themselves and each other too seriously, and the ones that always find a way to have fun.

2. A lot of people mistake fighting in relationships for passion in relationships. The two are not the same, and if you’re always fighting, it’s a sign that one or both of you is immature. Or the relationship is just not going to work.

3. Fighting in public is one of the worst things you can do for your relationship. Airing out your dirty laundry for everyone always comes back to haunt you.

4. Your friends don’t always know what’s best for you, but they do know whether you’re the person you’re with makes you better or worse. Listen to them.

5. The couples who cannot be apart from each other, are some of the most unhappy and unhealthy couples you’ll ever meet. Co-dependency is not good for your love.

6. If you know a couple that is so heavily invested in showcasing their life, either by too much PDA or too much overshare in any shape or form, they are putting on a show.

7. If you’ve ever found you’ve lost close friends or at least you’re not as close to your friends since you started your relationship, it’s an opportunity for reflection, not blame.

8. Your single friends sometimes just want to hang out with you. Not with you and your significant other. You should be able to do that, and regularly.

9. Don’t go asking for a specific type of advice from specific people. It’s easy to seek out the people who tell you what you want to hear. It’s easy to shut out the person who tells you as it is.

10. That said, don’t inform your friends of every little detail about your relationship. Many things you should just keep to yourself too.

11. There is a point where “making fun” of your significant other turns into putting them down or downright disrespect. Be careful not to cross that line and retreat when you do.

12. If your relationship is your only source of happiness, it will never satisfy you enough. Other people cannot be totally responsible for your state of mind.

13. Don’t rush into move-in with someone, and don’t do it out of convenience. Living with someone is a big commitment, and always remember it is not something you have to do, just because others are doing it too.

14. Don’t let anyone tell you that you shouldn’t move across a country or the world for someone else. Don’t let anyone tell you that you should. Whether you do or don’t is a risk that you’re taking, and you’re the only one who will deal with any potential regret.

15. The relationships that are most inspiring are made of couples who inspire each other  – to do better and to be better.

16. Honesty really is the best policy in any relationship. Honesty about who you are and what you want. And don’t ever assume anything – ask them and tell them.

17. Most people really do accept the kind of love they think they deserve. For some people, that’s a good thing. For others, it isn’t.