17 Signs That You’re Basically The Nugget Of Your Friend Group
By Kim Quindlen
1. Everybody likes to pick you up. All. The. Time.
2. You’ve accepted the fact that no matter how old you are, people will always try to ruffle your hair. They will probably still be doing it when you’re 62.
3. Your friends often underestimate the amount of food you can eat. When it comes to counting up how many pizzas they need to order for the group, they’ll just assume you’re only having 1 or 2 slices. And you’re like BITCH I can eat an entire pie if I need to.
4. The same thing frequently happens at restaurants. Sometimes people give you smaller portions because they underestimate the amount that you can put back. You can’t count the number of times you’ve had to say “could I have some more rice?” while you were in line at Chipotle. And the employees always seem shocked that one little spoonful would not be enough for you.
5. You got looked over a lot during sports games as a kid. Which wasn’t really a problem, because it meant most of the time, you were able to sneak by and score a goal or a basket. And the other team had no clue how it happened.
6. When you go out shopping with your friends, you know not to bother trying dresses on at certain stores, like J. Crew, because they practically go down to your ankles and it just looks like you’re playing dress up.
7. If only one person in your friend group is going to get carded on the way into the bar, it will be you. Even if your face looks 24, the bouncer is convinced that the size of your body means you’re 17.
8. Girls who are literally your same age love to look down at you and go “aw, you’re so cute!”
9. Occasionally people will equate your size to your capabilities and convince themselves that you need help doing silly things. Most of the time they’re just trying to help, so you’ve perfected a grateful but stern tone of voice when you respond. No, I can fill up my gas on my own, but thank you.
10. But ironically, when you’re in the grocery store and you can’t reach the cereal on the top shelf, nobody seems to see you.
11. Every once in a while, someone makes a “Must be this tall to ride the roller coaster!” joke to you and they think they’re the first person to have ever thought of it.
12. You get called “sweetie” and “honey” a lot. Even by people who are younger than you.
13. Your friends nearly have a heart attack when you wear heels. You’re not even taller than them. You’re just almost the same height.
14. People sometimes associate your nuggetyness with a lack of strength. Which is often extremely convenient, because it means your friends never ask you for help when they’re moving.
15. Noogies are a thing of the past for most people. But not you.
16. You’ve perfected the exact amount of alcohol you need to get drunk – no more, no less. Which is awesome, because you spend a lot less money than your friends when it comes to getting a good buzz going.
17. You used to feel the need to stand on your tiptoes for group pictures. Now, you just wear your height loud and proud. Tall on the inside, bitchez with a z.