17 Things I Tell Myself When I Feel The Urge To Text You

1. Let’s go for a run instead.

2. This feeling is gonna eventually pass. They always do.

3. If you text and he doesn’t respond, you’ll just feel shittier.

4. Alternatively, if he does respond and you fall back into the same unhealthy, repeating cycle of wanting someone who will never love you back, you’ll feel EVEN shittier.

5. Okay, if you still want to text him AFTER the run, we’ll consider it.

6. He never loved you.

7. You deserve someone who does.

8. His jealousy was not a sign of commitment. He’s just a jealous dude.

9. Do you ever think that maybe you’re addicted to misery.

10. Oooohhh, what happened to that other dude? Trevor…or something. You should contact him.

11. No, scratch that. Don’t replace one vice with another.

12. Should we audition for The Bachelor again?

13. Call Mom.

14. Text Johanna.

15. Talk to the people who love you regardless.

16. Find someone who actually gives a shit.

17. Okay, maybe I’ll just say, “Hi.”