20 Things You’ll Never Understand If You Don’t Have ADHD

1. We’re normal: we look like everyone else and we try just as hard as everyone else. We don’t need additional help in school (errrrrr maybe extra time to finish our work). We can take tests without accommodations. Try not to automatically label us please. We just have a hard time focusing and completing our school work, but it doesn’t make us incompetent. Please no haters.

2. Flakiness: No, we’re not flaking on you on purpose. We genuinely forgot that we made plans with you. We don’t have commitment problems. I once had a friend say to me, “Damn girl, are you a croissant? Because you are so flaky!” Well, I’m sorry! I love you a lot but I accidentally made plans with five other people at the same time that night too, on accident.

3. Attention: We get distracted. We’re not doing it on purpose. But it’s like our brain is an I Spy book and everything is just so interesting and we want to pay attention to it all.

4. Alcohol: Alcohol makes us Gremlins. We become loose cannons. But not because we want to hurt anyone, we just want to unleash our inner beast and have fun. You know in movies when people have wild parties where girls are dancing on table tops and poppin’ bottles? That’s us. So don’t take out your nice China when we’re around and drinking.

5. Relationships: We’re not clingy. We forget birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine’s Day, and the days we are supposed to call you. But it doesn’t mean we are cheating or fell out of love with you. Sometimes we just need a little bit of prompting to help us along. It’s like we have mild Alzheimer’s but not.

6. Adderall: It doesn’t always help. Please stop asking me to sell it you. I have a lot of it because I need it to fix my brain chemistry. You don’t need it and it is an unfair advantage to everyone if I sold it to you just because it “helps you study”. It’s so unfair to me and you and your classmates.

7. Hyperactive energy: We just have a lot of energy. It’s like it never runs out. We’re a good time and we’ll always be down for your crazy adventures. The energy didn’t just appear. We’ve had it since childhood but only discovered it in elementary school or beyond because our parents were convinced that we were “just being kids” when we were younger and didn’t think it was a problem until our fifth grade teacher pointed it out.

8. Risks: We are big on taking risks and gambling and making rash decisions. We love it. It’s like we finally have control of something and our brain isn’t taking over and telling us what we can do. That’s why Vegas is seriously my favorite.

9. Multitasking: I can multitask. I can multitask. I also hella love tacos, wine, rainbows, and you know what? TODAY IS MY BEST FRIEND’S BIRTHDAY. I love her so much and she loves me. And I am SO EXCITED for March. My birthday is then. I think my sister might actually get me a kitten. Shit I have to do laundry this weekend. And I guess jello is like really delicious.

10. People who say they have “ADHD”: You don’t have it until you really have it and it is an issue. It sometimes ruins our friendships and relationships and our academics. Does it ruin yours? You don’t get it. It’s not just attention. It’s EVERYTHING ABOUT US.

11. Procrastination: We’re impatient, but we procrastinate. We are constantly in motion, but for the wrong reasons. We love to interrupt you, but have no idea why. We can’t sit still, we lose everything we own (and this is why I can’t have nice things), we love to daydream, and wait…is my mother making lasagna for dinner?!?!?!??!?

12. Wait

13. What was I going to write

14. Ummmmm

15. Ugh, where is my phone

16. I had it yesterday.

17. Does he even care if I call him or not

18. I’m tired

19. Shit, I didn’t go to my work meeting today!

20. FUCK I forgot. Maybe I can just like go buy groceries. Kinda want to go adopt a kitten on the way home.

Please love us. We’re a good time. I promise.