24 Things I Should Say (But I Keep To Myself)

1. I don’t really like you (I’ll shake your hand when I see you in public)

2. I think it’s total bullshit everything has to be so ambiguous when inquiring about employment (I’ll send an ambiguous thank you email)

3. I don’t appreciate your backhanded compliments (I’ll thank you for them)

4. I think your cooking is atrocious (I’ll eat the entire plate and smile)

5. I don’t need your negativity in my life (I’ll keep a close relationship with you indefinitely)

6. I disagree with a lot of political happenings in an outspoken way (I don’t vote because I’m a lazy bigot)

7. I think you’ve probably overcharged me for services I didn’t even ask for (I’ll sign the receipt and tell myself it was probably a fair price)

8. I think you’re quite annoying (I’ll willingly converse with you)

9. I’m super disappointed about you messing up my food order (I’ll pay you for it and say “Everything looks good”)

10. I don’t like being around you (I accept your lunch date proposals regularly)

11. I’m really jealous and envious of your accomplishments to the point I’m repulsed by you (I’ll congratulate you and continually stalk you online)

12. I don’t need your approval (I’ll seek it out for some reason)

13. I really think you’ve done me wrong and should have to answer for yourself (I’ll just fade away into the distance as if nothing happened)

14. I wish you’d stop complaining about everything (I’ll complain about you later to myself)

15. I completely disagree with what you’re saying (I’ll just nod and say something vague like, “Yeah, I don’t know”)

16. I think you get into too many relationships too seriously too soon (I’ll always tell you how cute you are as a couple)

17. I think you have a shopping addiction (I’ll keep telling you your latest purchase is so cool)

18. I think you should probably stop drinking so much (I’ll ask you to go out for drinks so I don’t feel bad about my own drinking problem)

19. I loathe doing favors for you, because they never seem to end (I’ll always accept the task, because I have no backbone)

20. I want nothing more than to tell you off (I’ll always just walk away and let you think you’ve “won” the argument)

21. I want you to stop pestering me about certain things (I’ll keep validating myself to you, to no avail)

22. I think you haven’t paid me enough for the things I’ve done (I’ll accept it and thank you for the opportunity)

23. I’ve grown tired of the way you act (I’ll never acknowledge it consciously)

24. I don’t like people (I’ll continue to be a people pleaser)