25 Internet Writers On The One Comment They Are Tired Of Hearing

1. “‘I want my two minutes back.’ It’s fine if you didn’t like it, but do you realize how much more time you wasted scrolling down to the comments and talking about the time you wasted? Go jump in a bog, you cretin.”

2. “‘Why are you so hateful?’ or ‘Chill.’ Seriously most of the time writers are quite chilled out when we’re writing, it’s you who are taking every single things we say literally and seriously. YOU CHILL.”

3. “‘Oooh—so edgy!’ It obviously had a sharp enough edge that it pricked you into making a comment. And if you truly didn’t find it offensive, you wouldn’t be the type to stage walkouts and boycotts and protests. You wouldn’t encourage laws for such speech to be banned. The perfect comeback is, ‘Oooh —so wimpy!'”

4. “‘Not funny.’  Newsflash: No one cares.”

5. “Every single special snowflake ever who thinks no generalizations applies to them. We get it, you’re special. Move along.”

6. “‘I didn’t even read this because of the title.’ And yet here you are commenting. Makes a lot of sense!

7. “‘You are an idiot because I disagree with your opinion/experiences.’ Okay, thanks.”

8. “‘How do you come up with this stuff?’ It 100% depends on tone, but this question gets so annoying. Sometimes, they’re subtly trying to say they think I’m insane. Other times, they’re impressed by my creativity. Regardless, it’s like – I just DO, okay?! That’s why I do what I do, because I’m able to think like this. They just assume every writer goes to a coffee shop with a pretty notebook or takes a super inspirational walk through nature to think of shit, and they couldn’t be more wrong. It’s like ‘IDK. I was pooping and the thought came to me.’”

9. “‘LOOK AT THIS TYPO, THIS TYPO INVALIDATES YOUR ENTIRE ARTICLE.’ Cool story bro. Guess what? I made a mistake, it happens. Are you perfect at your job? Probably not. The difference is you don’t have anonymous assholes screaming at you because of this.”

10. “‘Why must we hear from you all the time?’ I’m sorry but aren’t you the one who clicked the article? Dear readers – you have power over what you click.”

11. “Any article where the person is complaining about lists. The thing is most internet writers didn’t get into internet writing to write lists. But guess what? That is what A LOT of people read. Sometimes we get to write our creative, long, thoughtful essays BUT in order to you know, continue paying bills and eating, we have to write basic, easy-to-read lists too. If you want us to write more essays well maybe you should be reading and sharing the essays we write at the rate you do our lists. Otherwise stop complaining.”

12. “‘Kill yourself.’ Or anything that insinuates a writer should harm themselves. You never know the personal situation a person is dealing with or the history they’ve dealt with. I am a person, a person with emotions and family and friends and just because you can’t see that beyond your screen, it doesn’t mean that what you say won’t have affect me. Please, think before you post.”

13. “‘How are you even a writer?’ Easy, I put words together. Somebody pays me for it. Voila!”

14. “When you write something about race and someone says you’re a racist, you hate White people, and blah blah blah. Seriously, this happens in real life too. And it’s been happening to anyone who has challenged the status quo on race politics since civil rights. It’s just another way to derail the conversation. You’re not fooling anyone with even half a brain.”

15. “Anything about the writer’s looks – usually a female writer’s looks. It used to hurt me when people called me ugly but I’ve seen people who are so obviously gorgeous get told they’re ugly too. But more than that, it’s so incredibly disgusting how people focus on a writer’s looks. I would love to see the faces of these people but I’m sure their ugly too – regardless of what they look like.”

16. “Comments like this: ‘WHY ARE YOU BEING SO SENSITIVE?’ It’s like LOL. You realize you come across as the whiny, sensitive one most of the time?”

17. “Something about how you don’t get paid for your job when your bio freaking says ‘WORKS AT [name of website].’ Like, do people think if you’re posting 3 to 5 articles a day, you’re doing this shit for free? LOL. Sorry that your job isn’t this cool.”

18. “‘Don’t you ever get tired of writing [insert subject matter here]?’ Obviously I don’t, otherwise I wouldn’t keep writing about it.”

19. “Commenters that tell the writer to stop complaining about something. Stop complaining about the writer maybe?”

20. “‘This is fucking gay.’ or ‘OP is a fag.’ It’s just so lame, can’t you come up with something original?”

21. “‘What a piece of shit work by a shit writer.’ Someone needs a hug.”

22.“Every single ad hominem attack on a writer is just boring and annoying. You don’t know any of us in real life. Please keep that in mind.”

23. “Any form of ‘you are wrong,’ or ‘you don’t know what you’re talking about’ without actually explaining why I’m wrong. Seriously, why bother if that’s all you’re going to comment. You look dumb.”

24. “‘How is this even an article?’ You clicked on something with a headline and some words and/or pictures in it. It’s that simple.”

25. “‘THIS ARTICLE DOESN’T APPLY TO ME PERSONALLY, AND I MUST LET EVERYONE KNOW ABOUT IT.’ Like who gives a fuck, honestly?”