28 Legit Reasons Why You And Your Friends Aren’t “Getting Too Old”
By Ashley Twigg
1. You can vividly remember a recent occasion where you threw up from drinking a tad bit too much.
2. You cannot vividly remember anything else from said occasion.
3. An Ugly Sweater or St. Paddy’s Day Bar Crawl are still treated like National Holidays and you keep countdowns to them on your phone.
4. You keep countdowns to anything on your phone.
5. You still ask your parents upwards of three ridiculous questions per week (or if you’re like me…per day).
6. You have a 401k plan but still really have no idea what the fuck that is.
7. You still get pissed about $20 copays when you go to the doctor.
8. You have zero interest in using your tax returns for anything remotely responsible.
9. You are still drunk texting your exes.
10. You are still drunk sleeping with your exes.
11. You still say things like “I just really need a scorpion bowl right now.”
12. You still want to shotgun beers at concerts..and cookouts..and First Communions.
13. The thought of day drinking still excites you.
14. Your hair color comes out of a box.
15. Even though you stay in on a Friday night to “catch up on sleep” you just watch full house reruns.
16. You have become genuinely angry over a “tweet”.
17. You still need to put in a conscious effort to filter your colorful language in the workplace.
18. You’re the main person sending funny YouTube videos via work email.
19. At 5pm Friday you sprint out of the office like you’ve just been released from jail.
20. You still occasionally make out with strangers in public.
21. You still binge watch entire series of shows.
22. You still want naps…a lot.
23. Whip cream and sprinkles are always a given.
24. 90% of what you screenshot is done solely to text it to someone and judge whomever is in the picture.
25. If secretly snap chatting selfies in your cubicle is largely what gets you through the day.
26. You are still pre gaming events by pouring nips in your Dunks cup.
27. You want to high five yourself every time you make it to work on time.
28. Every Sunday you dread Monday like you’ve never worked before.