4 Lessons I Had To Learn The Hard Way In 2016


2016 will come to an end in just a handful of days and it’s this time of the year where in people usually look back and reflect on how much of a shitty year they’ve had. To be honest, I actually thought 2016 was great—if I exclude the lonely moments filled with thoughts of regret, the sleepless nights filled with tears and heartache, the people I’ve lost, the friendships that faded and the things that went downhill.

But I guess that’s all part of a year and I can’t separate the good from the bad in order to define my year.

Speaking from an optimist’s point of view; I believe that from the bad things this year brought me, I was able to learn from them and in the best yet most painful way possible: experience.

1. Don’t lose yourself trying to keep someone.

This year I found myself doing a lot of things I was not comfortable doing or things I felt wasn’t right, all because of the fear of losing or disappointing people. In the end, I ended up losing both myself as well as the people I tried to keep. If anyone in your life ever leads you to do something you don’t want to do for him or her, let him or her go – they never really cared about you in the first place.

2. Get over something or someone before you start moving on.

Think of it as unnecessary baggage or weight on a journey. How will you reach your destination with so much weight and baggage on your shoulders? That’s right, let go and drop it.

3. Don’t keep it all in; find someone who cares and understands, then let it all out.

I’ve had my fair share of horrible things this year, which lead to the lonesome late nights of crying myself to sleep and usual moping in the corner. I was never one to talk about my problems and feelings because I always had the perception that it would make me seem weak to actually open up about these matters to someone. But this year changed that perception; I found people who went through similar bullshit and opening up to these people made everything automatically better. Also, a bonus was that talking to these people strengthened my friendships with them. Bottling up emotions is toxic.

4. Don’t force pieces that don’t fit – the importance of being open-minded.

It’s pretty self-explanatory. Why force something that was never meant to be in the first place? I understand that not forcing pieces that don’t fit is something easier said than done because of the expectations we make by ourselves and for ourselves, but if we are open-minded we will learn to let go and be open to new possibilities.