5 Inanimate Objects You Date In College



1. Homework

You’ve already been together for what feels like an eternity. It’s stressful, tiresome, there’s no fun involved, and no sex. Your dates usually take place in your bedroom (not your bed), and if you plan on going out, it’ll probably be to the library. You have a tendency to bail on Homework a lot, and nobody blames you for that…except for your parents. They love the fact that you’re dating, and if they ever heard about you two breaking up, they wouldn’t be too happy about it. Nobody wants to be in a relationship where they have to put in a lot of effort while getting nothing in return. That’s what dating Homework is like. Aside from that, it’s just plain boring. Homework doesn’t interest you one bit, but if you don’t spend time together, you’re going to get in trouble. You’ll have to stick it out because you’ve already come so far together, but it’s no secret amongst your friends that you can’t wait to start seeing other people.

2. Fast Food

This is that person you get random physical cravings for all the time. You hook up with Fast Food after a fun night out at the bar, and then won’t see them for weeks. There’s no commitment involved, which is perfect for you, although you might feel a little guilty afterwards. Some friends shame you for it, while others are jealous. You might even try to keep it a secret from everyone, but the satisfaction is too good not go through with it altogether. Don’t be ashamed. Why wouldn’t you want that Big Mac inside you ever so often? On top of that, it’s usually open for business pretty late, so anytime is go time.


3. Your Computer

You’re in love. There are so many things you two can do together that you almost never get bored of each other. Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, TV Shows, Thought Catalog, etc. It’s always up for anything. Whatever you want. The only time you get frustrated in this relationship is when your computer is being slow. Nobody likes to be kept waiting. You had plans to watch The Bachelor together as soon as you got home from class, but it took it’s sweet-ass time getting ready. You always end up forgiving it though, because you can’t imagine life without Your Computer.


4. Alcohol

Some may say this relationship brings out the best in you. Others say the opposite. You love to hangout on the weekends and get a little wild together. It’s probably the most fun, outgoing relationship you’ve ever had. You usually tend to hang out with large groups of people rather than alone, but that’s normal. If you are hanging out alone, you might be getting too serious. While being together is exciting, it’s not always fun and good times. This relationship occasionally causes you to cry, fight with your friends, and even makes you feel sick to your stomach. If your friends are telling you that you’re spending too much time with Alcohol, they’re probably right. Take some time off. You don’t need to see each other every day. If you’re worried that time apart might change your relationship, don’t be. It will only make the days you do see each other more exciting.

5. Netflix

Netflix will always be there for you when you need to relieve stress, wire down, or simply just want to hang out. It’s schedule is always open just for you, and it’s so easy to turn on. You’ll spend entire days naked in bed together. If you fall asleep with it, it’s not going to sneak out before you wake up in the morning. Netflix doesn’t care that you’re always in sweats or have no make-up on, it just wants to make you happy. Such a sweetheart! The only weird thing about this relationship is that you’re paying $8.00 a month to be in it. Netflix doesn’t always need to be alone with you though. It’s perfectly okay with hanging around you and all of your friends. If you don’t spend a lot of time with Netflix, it’s not going to get mad at you, and Netflix will never get jealous if you stare at other movies on DVD or Blu-ray.