5 Valuable Lessons You Only Learn From Being Stuck In The Friendzone


The Friendzone is a cruel and lonely place. Few are able to successfully escape and survive. But as much as you want to avoid being in this situation, there are things that you just can’t control, especially that traitor heart of yours. Because, in the end, we don’t get the luxury of choosing who we’ll fall in love with. We just fall. And if you fall in love with a friend, and the feeling is not returned, it is just so damn heartbreaking.

I have been in that God forsaken “zone” for years. Not just once, but many times. It seems that all love attempts in my life, involve falling in love, specifically with a friend, and be rejected afterwards. It is indeed a pitiful experience. But to tell you the truth, I’m not truly sorry for all of the heartbreaking rejections that I have experienced. Because behind those painful encounters are valuable lessons enough to make me feel good and be positive about the whole thing. So let me share them with you.

1. Romantic love may be one of the most wonderful things that can happen to you, but friendship is also everlasting.

Your friend may not feel the same romantic feeling you have for him/her, but this doesn’t mean that he/she loves you less. Being his/her friend entitles you to have that special part in his/her heart. That part, no matter how tiny or big it is, is irreplaceable. Remember, lovers come and go, but friends are like family. They will be there even if you don’t need them. The only ship that will never sink, is friendSHIP. #punintended

2. Falling for a friend is not for everyone.

After being rejected for so many times, it is clearly obvious that I suck at this kind of romance. It is high time that I admit that to myself. Lucky for those who have found their better half through a friend, but we have to admit that there are certain romance stories that are not applicable to certain people, and falling for a friend, is I guess, not my thing.

3. Being bitter will make you ugly and will get you nowhere.

Being rejected sucks! And being rejected by a friend is hideous! You thought sharing the same hobbies, the same taste in movies, foods and whatnots, are enough to have that romantic connection between the two of you. But then again, you are wrong! Because clearly what you feel for him/her is not the same with how he/she feels for you.

Rejection is part and parcel of life. And it is not your friend’s fault if he/she doesn’t feel the same way. And as a good friend, we should accept this. Being bitter will not make the situation any better. It will not make him/her love you. It will just ruin you and that beautiful friendship you have with him/her. And is it worth it? NO!

4. When you are in the Friendzone, there is nothing left to do but to accept it and move on.

Being in the “zone” does not mean the end of things for you. It is in fact a good opportunity for you to find someone else. Once you have accepted the fact that the best relationship that you two can have is friendship, then you can finally move on and find a new love. There won’t be anything to hold you back anymore.

5. Friendzone victims make good lovers.

If friends make good lovers, then why didn’t it work out for me? You may ask me this question. And you may think that I am contradicting all the previous things I have said. But, this is no longer about you and that special friend of yours. I’m talking about you and the other person you will soon love.

Your experience as a friend to that special friend of yours, can help you to become a better person and a better partner for your future love. Things may not work out for you and your bestfriend, but that doesn’t mean that it will never work out with someone else.

Caring, understanding, loving and all the good qualities you have as a friend are also good qualities to be a good lover. We are not perfect, but with all the good and bad experiences we’ve had, being in the friendzone, we somehow know how to treat someone with love. When things get tough, we know that we can be a lover and friend at the same time.

Being in the friendzone is hard. Whenever you see your best friend, you are constantly reminded of the fact that you will only be “best friends”. But this should not stop us from loving again. We should not take friendzone as something negative. We should take it as a good experience and an opportunity to be better people or partners. These are just lessons or learning that we sometimes fail to notice because we are so consumed with our love for that special friend. And now, that we are aware of it, it is only proper to put it into good use right? #lessthanthree.

For more raw, powerful writing follow Heart Catalog here.