50 Famous ‘Literary Masterpieces’ That Actually Suck

4. Pretty much anything by Faulkner because everything is a giant sentence with a bunch of superfluous words like in this sentence that I am typing out using an iPhone that has a nice cover and that whispers to me when an interesting comment has occurred on Reddit because I am a Reddit user and perhaps one day I will have the wit to use brevity and come up with an excellent question for r/askreddit but until that happens I, alas, will have to settle like river sediment for the banality of my comments.

5. Three times I have tried to tackle Infinite Jest, and three times I have been stymied. I can read immense, dry tomes and make my way through just fine, but for some reason I always peter out about halfway through this bad boy. I know people who love it. I know I probably *should* love it? I’ll probably give it one more try in ten years and then set my copy on fire.