50 Men Who Gave The Absolute Worst Proposals In Human History

24. This story is from a friend I have in Cali. Her first marriage was to an abusive jerk-bait.

Apparently, he took her to Mervyn’s while they were closing because, “big discounts.” He bought her a ring that was originally $1,200 marked down to $400. Not that money is everything. Hell, I made my wife’s ring. But it’s the principal. He spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on bullshit like a LOTR sword that sat in storage or a $500 book that was useless. Anyway…

He buys her this ring and she’s happy. She’s waiting for the proposal. But the ring just sits in the box on the kitchen counter for two weeks. She finally asks him when he’s gonna propose, and he says, “I already did. I was waiting for you to put the ring on.”

After some persuasion, he rolls his eyes, gets up, grabs the box, gets down on one knee while she’s sitting on the couch and asks her to marry him.

She shoulda run.

25. My college boyfriend and I had been together barely two months, he was 19 and I was 21. We got invited to a booze cruise. Half way through the booze cruise out in the middle of the ocean with frat boys yelling chug, sorority sisters holding each other’s hair back to barf and standing on the roof of this old tattered mesh carpeting I began to admire fireworks in the distance and turn to tell him how much I love fireworks to find him on one knee. I was extremely confused and thought maybe he had gotten sick too. He then grabbed my hand and asked me to marry him.