55 Of The Most Outrageous Quotes From ‘Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills’ That Prove They’re Your Favorite Housewives


1. “You’re a slut pig!” – Kim Richards to Brandi Glanville

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2. “At least I don’t do crystal meth in the bathroom all night long, bitch.” –Brandi Glanville to Kim Richards

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3. “You’re a goddamn bitch!” (JINX!) –The Richards Sisters to Brandi Glanville

4. “I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!” –Brandi Glanville to The Richards Sisters

5. “Why don’t you have a piece of bread and maybe you’ll calm down a little?” –Kim Richards to Lisa Rinna

6. “Bloody hell, I’m going to have to put out tonight.” -Lisa Vanderpump

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7. “I don’t have a drinking problem, I have a drinking solution.” -Brandi Glanville

8. “The morally corrupt Faye Resnick.” -Camille Grammer

9. “This is my party, do me a favor and stay away from me.” -Taylor Armstrong

10. “You stole my goddamn house!” -Kim Richards to Sister Kyle

11. “I have this Jesus complex, I think.” -Camille Grammer

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12. “I can’t stop because you’re off your fucking rocker!” -Taylor Armstrong to Kim Richards

13. “Wow, she’s pernicious.” -Camille Grammer

14. “My dog is pink, so why shouldn’t my pussy be?” –Lisa Vanderpump

15. “Are we taking the Bentley, mom?” -Little Portia

16. “Can we get a bottle of Rosé out here? And a funnel!” -Kyle Richards

17. “You really piss me off because you’re a real asshole.” –Yolanda Hadid to Taylor Armstrong

18. “Thank God for Xanax.” -Brandi Glanville

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19. “It’s nice to know she’s been eating, even if it’s only diet pills.” -Lisa Vanderpump

20. “My hair is iconic, and don’t you fucking forget!” -Lisa Rinna

21. “Let’s get it straight. Men love beautiful women and beautiful women love rich men. Still fuck your husband for a Chanel bag. There’s temptation everywhere.” -Yolanda Hadid

22. “I’m a sweet, fun-loving person, until you cross me, and then I will fucking cut a bitch.” -Brandi Glanville

23. “I don’t like bullshit and I that’s what I think you are.” -Erika Girardi to Dorit Kemsley

24. “I don’t throw wine glasses, I throw wine.” -Brandi Glanville

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25. “I love squirrels!” -Kim Richards

26. “You need to change your Depends because you’re so full of shit.” -Brandi Glanville to Lisa Rinna

27. “I am sorry. I am not putting my mouth on a straw where Brandi’s mouth has been. Would you?” -Kyle Richards

28. “If I was a bully, I would have knocked out your teeth by now.” -Brandi Glanville

29. “181 kilometers is actually 112 mph, which means I will chop off his penis.” -Kyle Richards

30. “This is a cheeky little gift since we’ve all seen your pretty little puss now.” -Dorit Kemsley to Erika Girardi

31. Eileen: “It’s the crotch chronicles.” Dorit: “It’s the snatch chat.”

32. “I saw what Mr. Girardi been munching on for the last 20 years.” -Lisa Vanderpump

33. “Why do these bitches keep talking about my vagina?” -Erika Girardi

34. “If I can smell your breath, you’re too close.” -Dorit Kemsley

35. “I’ve decided that I would have a Studio 54 party for my birthday. Studio 54 was a fabulous time, it was fun! This is when people were really being free and cocaine wasn’t addictive…allegedly.” -Erika Girardi

36. “Now may be a good time to keep those big lips closed.” -Kyle Richards about Lisa Rinna

37. “Apparently if you have a penis you never get lost.” -Kyle Richards

38. “I’m like a cockroach. You can’t get rid of me.” -Lisa Rinna

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39. “I thought I had a stroke, but it was my false eyelashes, making one eye look smaller than the other.” -Kyle Richards

40. “I better start drinking green shit and jogging.” -Brandi Glanville

41. “It costs a lot of money to bring my glam squad. But they’re worth it. So I’ll look great, while everyone else looks dusty.” -Erika Girardi

42. Kyle: “You’re not wanted.” Brandi: “Excuse me, neither are you. Ask your husband.”

44. “Sometimes I want to strangle him, but that’s life, isn’t it?” -Lisa Vanderpump

45. “No matter how many Chanels you borrow, you will never, ever, be a lady.” -Faye Resnick to Brandi Glanville

46. “What means ‘cunnilingus’?” -Yolanda Hadid

47. “Nice to meet you….and your newly renovated vagina.” -Eileen Davidson

48. “My goal is to be so completely wasted so I don’t even know what’s happening because if you don’t hear it and you don’t see it then it didn’t happen…like blackout sex..” -Brandi Glanville

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49. “I’m not in the bathroom doing cocaine. I’m not in the car smoking pot. I like my wine. It is what it is.” -Brandi Glanville

50. “Were people doing coke in your bathroom?” -Lisa Rinna to Dorit Kemsley

51. “My house is a coke den.I have two little babies but my house is a coke den.” -Dorit Kemsley

52. “You want me to eat your pussy?” -Brandi Glanville to Lisa Vanderpump

53. “I’m about to take you out back and pull some Oklahoma on your ass.” -Taylor Armstrong to Kim Richards

54. “Pat the puss. Pat the puss. Pat the puss.” -Erika Girardi

55. “I’ve had enough of you, you beast.” -Kim Richards to Eileen Davidson