6 Things I Thought As A Kid About Growing Up That Turned Out Completely Wrong


1. Not having a forced bedtime is going to be so cool.

Didn’t you just long for the nights when you’d be allowed to make the choice as to when you ACTUALLY wanted to go to sleep? That was the epitome of adulthood. You could watch cartoons all night long if you wanted! No rules! Parents suck!!

Reality: I stay awake until 2 am scrolling through the internet’s endless abyss and then wake up exhausted the next day. This is a fun cycle that continues and as a result, I have self-induced insomnia. Awesome.

2. Everyone gets a love story like Cory and Topanga.

You meet someone in middle school or high school and BLAMMO – you’re in love forever. Easy peasy.

Reality: I have Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge. And I hate everyone.

3. Acne becomes a thing of the past.

Sure, you’re going to be awkward af when you’re going through puberty. It’s a rite of passage. But as soon as you grow up, pimples will disappear forever and your skin will look like a glowy God/Goddess.


4. Alcohol is gross.

You ever have a sip of someone’s wine at dinner and immediately spit that shit out? Like, WHY? THIS TASTES LIKE ANTISEPTIC!? You thought grown ups were total weirdos for drinking it. You’d never develop a taste for alcohol.

Reality: Bottomless mimosas are life.

5. If you go to college, you’ll instantly land a great job doing what you love.

It was going to be that easy, right? That’s why was it so important to do well in school – to get into college because if you go to college, everything else falls into place.

Reality: Lol.

6. Grown ups are very mature and never gossip.

Mean girls ALWAYS turn into nice women. Adults are way too busy being adults to bully, start rumors, etc.

Reality: Some people never outgrow this. Cute, huh?