To My Almost Boyfriend

Dear Almost Boyfriend,

How are you?

I hope you are doing very well. You still look cute in your pictures by the way. And that one with you biting your lower lip? It still kind of makes me want to see you right away and kiss you again.

I also read in one of your tweets that you liked someone and you even were telling yourself to man it up or you won’t get him. Aw. He’s lucky. I think you didn’t feel the same way towards me which sucked, but I’ve kind of gotten over it already. I know you were aware that how we felt was more of like the other way around — you even said I almost had you.

And as they say, almost will never be enough.

How long has it been? 6 months? I’ve also dated a few guys but you being the first after my last relationship, kind of set standards for everyone else who followed. In the looks department, you’re still number one. Or two.

What if I had you? What if we became official and we were boyfriends? Don’t you think about it sometimes? Because I do. Nah, it’s not that I haven’t moved on. When you’re single and bored, you tend to think of these things just to pass time.

I would have been at your place yesterday and you could have cooked for me again. I must say your cooking was really good. I don’t know. Even the reheated pizza we had for breakfast was great. Maybe because I ate it with you.

We would have then gone to the mall to watch Jungle Book. I’m not sure if you would have liked it. I wasn’t really given the chance to know more of you. You were quiet and reserved when we were still talking and I just had to fill in the blanks in between.

That’s what’s bad about me having to make up for your silence. I made my own little stories inside my head which made me think you liked me too. Liked in the sense of us being partners.

I would make up excuses for your being not expressive and will tell myself of possible reasons why you weren’t exerting as much effort as I did.

Anyway, we could have then had dinner somewhere not too fancy and had ice cream after. Remember that one time when we ran in the rain just to get ice cream from a store near your place? Definitely one for the books.

We would then head back to your place and make love. I would have heard again the strange noise you make when you try to be sexy; I’m sure you weren’t conscious that you were doing that, but I liked it. I would have seen that look in your eyes again, your hairy thighs and felt your kisses that only I gave meaning to.

If you think about it, you would have not been my almost boyfriend. You could be my boyfriend now. And all the things I mentioned above would have not been wasted chances and possibilities but rather sweet memories.

This could have been a love letter and not a blog post.
There could have been an us. And I could have ended this with love.