A Short List Of Reminders For When You Feel The Existential Dread Setting In

1. You know, it could be worse. You could be the guy who’s currently emailing his friends to let them know that he’s started a podcast that’s currently only available on Soundcloud. Or you could be the person who genuinely thinks a full sized bed is big enough. It could be worse.

2. Everything ends regardless of you freaking the fuck out about it. So why shout into the void, it’s pointless.

3. You can probably fix any problem with enough money. And if you don’t have that money, a nap can’t hurt.

4. At least you didn’t make the movie Avatar and willingly and knowingly use the font Papyrus on the logo.

5. It’s okay if the only accomplishment you made today was showering. Or walking to the fridge. Or looking at but choosing to not respond to a text from someone who is bad for you. Or doing something.

6. Everyone has a childhood dream that didn’t even come close to coming true.

7. Even the people who got the pony they asked for when they were in middle school have depression and anxiety and feel like absolute piles of human garbage.

8. Truthfully, it doesn’t get better. It just gets simpler to deal with and process and, ideally, you have more people to use as a sounding board when everything feels like too much.

9. Buying things at random will not make the walls feel like they aren’t closing in, it will not ease the ache, and it will not make everything feel less empty. But it’s okay if you still buy those salt shakers that look like owls and that blanket and those candles, because you’re just trying to figure it out.

10. You cannot force people to give you the attention that you feel like you deserve.

11. And you cannot force people to want you back.

12. And you should wash face masks off within the recommended timeframe or they might scald your face off.

13. If you don’t do anything today, just brush your teeth. That’s more than enough.

14. Most people have failed. Oprah failed once. She didn’t always have those beautiful, bountiful bushels of vegetables to pose with. She has felt like she’s sucked. Probably even while owning those beautiful bushels of veggies.

15. Nobody feels like they’ve done enough, are enough, or will be enough. We’re all just out here floating in space and hoping that we’re going to be okay.

16. Someone will miss you. Someone does.

17. If you had everything you ever wanted, and everything you feel like you ever needed, it wouldn’t stop you from feeling like complete shit somedays. That’s just part of being alive and it doesn’t make it suck any less.

18. You will wake up tomorrow and the next day and you will eventually be excited about that again. No idea when. But it will happen.

19. It’s okay to cry. Even if you only do it in private. Or on planes. Or both.

20. It’s okay to feel like you can’t cry. And there’s no reason to be scared about that.

21. It’s okay if it takes you weeks later to realize that those candles you bought specifically to help yourself feel more put together didn’t do shit.