When Your Body Is Your Enemy

You don’t choose the body you are born with. It is said that you have to power to change it, and maybe that’s true, but originally, you were born with certain features that are impossible to change.

Maybe you are too short or too tall, or maybe you tend to gain weight fast because of your naturally slow metabolism. Maybe you have small breasts, chubby arms or you don’t have skinny legs, and even if you try to change all of that, you can’t, because you were born that way.

It would be easy to accept that, live your life and feel free to eat all the food that you want, but you know that it’s something that you can’t easily accept because you have the constant need and desperation for looking good.

Your friends say that you are okay, your parents say that you look pretty, the person you date, sees you as the most beautiful human ever, and the pictures that you upload on Instagram show an average person; however, on the inside, all you can think is how better things would be if you weighed a few pounds less.

You hate when your friends take random photos of you because the idea of looking fat terrifies you. For you, there’s nothing worse than getting really close to a mirror, because that’s where you see yourself closer and bigger and that’s when you face your worst enemy, the one that you live with every day.

Every Monday you promise yourself that you will keep up with the diet and workouts, but you crave being able to eat the same food that your friends do every time you go out. When you are eating that slice of pizza or the french fries that you wanted so bad, you enjoy them, but at night, before going to bed, you feel shame and guilt.

It sucks, my dear, I know it, but let me tell you something:

Things will get better. I wish I could tell you how or when, but that is something that it’s hard even for me. I’m not sure how things will turn, but I promise you that things will get better.

It’s not something that it’s going to happen overnight because things take time. You still are going to have the fear of looking at yourself in the mirror, and maybe the next time you go out with friends, you will feel guilty because of the food you had, but darling, it’s okay, and as I said before, things that matter take time.

I’m sure that little by little, one day, when you decide to face your enemy and those inner battles, when you decide to ask for help or when you decide to be mentally strong enough to be able to keep up with your resolutions, you will be able to see your reflection in the mirror, and realize that the person that you were trying to be, has always been there. And that that person is a masterpiece created by God.