How To Drop The ‘YeahButs’ And Make Decisions You’re Actually Proud Of
Recently I have been working with individuals who are facing a decision, or decisions, and have expressed feeling stuck and unsure.
It can feel tricky and heavy when we start to think about outcomes, others opinions, effects on our lives and those we are close to, and as a result we often out-think our own ability to decide.
Something like this:
Brain: I really want to change jobs.
YEAHBUT: What if it doesn’t work out? What if your boss gets so mad at you? What if the next thing falls through and we are left with nothing?
Brain: ugh – that is too scary, forget my dream, I will just stay here where I have security.
I believe that in most cases our intuition or “gut,” if you will, can be a strong guide in this process. If you start to feel rather than think about the decision, we often receive what feels light or heavy, brighter or darker. That is your deeper instinct attempting to overpower your brain manifested ego and rise up to the surface.
Instinct, internal guide: Well, I really want to take this new opportunity. I am also a resilient human and if it doesn’t end up being exactly as I plan I know I can make it for a bit while I find something else. It feels like what I need is just on the other side of this decision, that feels exciting and I cannot imagine staying here miserable and not following this feeling. After all, I am not really secure because they could let me go anytime they chose. I am worth better and I want to see what is possible for me. Let’s do it.
Trust it. Awareness. Curiousness. Belief. Leap. Change.
Even if it doesn’t make perfect sense. Even if it doesn’t make sense at all to another. Trust it.
Our ego’s purpose is to keep things “safe”, to jump in and voice its concern when we consider looking just over the edge to the other side and pulls us back to safety. That is its job.
The issue with the ego, though, is that it may be holding you back from the exact thing you need, are yearning for, and want in your life. Just because the ego interprets something as safe does not mean it is the best thing for you.
Sit and think, meditate, dance in the fluidity of your body’s own harmony, write, reflect and weigh the decision with the feelings that come up when you hold space for your true self, the one that has been stuffed away under what is supposed to be right, or expected, or obligated of you.
The truth is that it only feels hard because we have detached from our true North and believing in ourselves, our vibrational connection, our Universe and Energy Source. It isn’t actually hard to decide, it is just a choice. “Hard” comes from the judgment of ourselves, from others, society, expectation, etc. If you can separate it feeling hard to see that is just what you think about it and it isn’t actually hard, because it just is, your answers will come from a place of authenticity and truth.
Follow where those deeper instincts arise from, feel into what feels light and better for you and make the next smallest step towards that direction that you can. It is quite possible that if you let go of this place of stuck and suck that everything waiting for you will provide you all that you want.
Can it feel scary? Of course. But you know what feeling is a close friend of scary? Excitement! Isn’t that a better way to structure that feeling? “I am making a big change, how exciting!”
This is not an attempt to get you to just leave a job, or a significant other or sell everything you own and become a nomad, BUT if those things call to you it is simply an idea you could consider.
Become aware, get curious, drop in, follow what feels true, right, light, beautiful, then follow that through the process of manifesting your life in truth, for you!
The thing that seems scary or brings the ego into play is usually the exact thing we need.
Go gently.