A Checklist For People In A Relationship


  1. Compare your partner to someone new and feel relieved
  2. Compare your partner to someone new and feel regret
  3. Have a terrible night that convinces you there’s no way this can go on
  4. Have a three month-long period of bliss and earnestly begin to believe that you could actually spend the rest of your life with this person
  5. Give in to the silliness of holidays; during them, realize nothing’s permanent and so cling to your partner
  6. Spend the night drinking and talking; never leave the apartment and wake up in the morning to the warmth of the person you want
  7. Do things to actively ignore your partner when they need you; feel indifferent or at a loss or just tired of dealing with it
  8. Find yourself suddenly completely at odds with your partner and feel an almost unbearable desire to be almost anywhere but in the same room as them
  9. Realize you’ve become dependent
  10. Say all the things to your partner you had so needed to tell someone when you were single and alone; feel extremely lucky you have this privilege
  11. Feel angsty and doomed when you experience minor twinges of desire for other people
  12. Secretly feel ashamed when you give relationship advice – your relationship may or may not be falling apart and you have no clue what to do anymore
  13. Nod your head enthusiastically when your parents ask you how your relationship is going; smile and say “Everything is great”
  14. Hold your partner all night because you can
  15. Feel high after excellent, fulfilling, meaningful sex that you know will happen again, and again, and again
  16. Wonder if this is actually going to work, despite pervasive feelings of mediocrity, boredom, alienation, regret, and dissatisfaction
  17. Stay in on the weekends because you don’t need the dating scene anymore; this feels excellent and relieving
  18. Don’t know if your partner’s right for you – don’t know what “right” means, only know that you care deeply for this person
  19. Get drunk and accidentally make eyes at other people
  20. Discover one day that your relationship will do for now, that everything is okay right now; let this make you smile

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image – Alan Cleaver