An Angry Letter To My Boyfriend’s Roommate


First off, I hate you. Okay, I lied maybe I don’t hate you. I just have mixed feelings toward you as an individual. I’ve tolerated you since day one, and I say tolerated lightly because it is so much more than tolerated; or put up with your strange, psycho habits. The first time I was told about you, I pictured this older, well-managed man. I didn’t picture a twenty-something man-child, which is what you are. You are the definition of man-child; if anyone wanted to know the definition of man-child, your photograph would be there in the description.

Standing out, in black in white; who at the age of twenty-one wears brylcreem; my father uses that product and he’s fifty-eight. Cut the military habits, that isn’t a military habit; that is a habit is the habit of a grey-haired older man; but that’s just my opinion, and my boyfriend’s opinion, followed by every one of my unlucky friends who had the chance to meet you, which fortunately is only one.

Second, who in their right mind gets fully dressed, climbs out of their bedroom window only to forget their apartment key, just to avoid the people sitting in the living room. I mean, you intentionally got fully dressed, and now hear me, I don’t mean jeans and a t-shirt. I mean, dress pants, shirt and tie, fully dressed up. Who does that? Because you are the only person I know who has, and who did since that time.

I hate how you always stare me down; like I’m absolutely worthless, with your impassive look. You make me feel awkward. Not just the uncomfortable awkward, that kind of awkward where all you want to do is leave, and never go back. It isn’t your bad habits that make me dislike you, everyone has bad habits, and that would make me judgmental.

It’s the way you act with me, when I’m around my boyfriend. 

You don’t know what privacy is. If asked, you wouldn’t know the definition of it. I understand you both live in the same apartment, but if the roles were reversed; I highly doubt you and your significant other would be bothered as much as you bother me, and my significant other.

You don’t know when to bug off, standing awkwardly in the kitchen while we’re cooking, not saying a word; is not okay with me. It makes me uncomfortable, and it makes him uncomfortable; if you know we’re spending time together, why can’t you bug off. You live with my boyfriend; while me, working all nights through the week, and going to class in the day, barely gives me time to see him – and when I do come over, you’re always there. 

Not knocking on his bedroom door, and wandering in without waiting or warning is an invasion of privacy. There have been multiple times I’ve had to hide in the closet, or worse, because your obvious lack of common sense. You have never brought a girl home; and when you do bring your guy friends over, all of this weirdness goes away – but when it’s just the three of us, you don’t bug off.

You don’t constantly have to be playing your games, or watching movies, with your roommate. You’re also best friends; which I have nothing against. But when it comes down to me wanting to just spend time with my boyfriend, and he flat out tells you that him and I are hanging – that is not an invitation to just storm into his bedroom, and rant about the game you’re playing.

It doesn’t give you the right to barge in when we’re making plans; and I’m so sick of it. Especially after countless times of him telling you how I feel. I don’t hate you; I just hate the way you are, and the way you act. It’s like you have the mind of a child, who doesn’t know what no means. 

I’m beginning to question your sexuality; because what ‘best friend’ in their right mind gets mad at their best friend for being there for their girlfriend when they’re going through something rough.

It comes off as jealousy; I’m sorry I had someone pass away and my boyfriend, your best friend was there for me – and couldn’t continue gaming with you. That’s selfish of you, to always constantly need him there. He’s his own person, and soon enough, you won’t live together and no, you won’t be able to barge in when you want. You need to change because soon enough, you’ll end up losing him too. 

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