An Empirical Inquiry Into Why Jesse Williams Is The Most Perfect Man In History: An Essay

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Sometime during my late teen years, I adopted a laissez-faire attitude towards celebrity culture. I think the unhealthy fawning and obsession with people who are famous is a phenomenon at best, and a communal and destructive state of mental anarchy, at worst. I hope anthropologists in the distant future will look at us with a mix of curiosity and disgust. And in an age where one needn’t do anything of material or creative value in order to become famous, it can feel really difficult to find people in the public eye who are good at a craft and are also good at life. Enter Jesse Williams, a.k.a the really good-looking guy most of us know from Grey’s Anatomy (even if we no longer watch Grey’s Anatomy).

First things first, look at him:

The offspring of a Black American father and a Swedish American Mother – who were both high school teachers – Jesse became a high school teacher too after graduating from Temple University, before pursuing acting. (Yes, I got this information from Wikipedia. Sue me.) Serious question to anyone who was ever taught by Jesse, how did you pay attention to anything? If Jesse had been my teacher, I wouldn’t have got any work done. At all. And did I mention that in addition to other subjects, he taught African studies? Now if that isn’t the way to this African girl’s heart (who also happens to be offspring of professor parents and a multicultural studies scholar, I do not know what is.)

God forgive me for my thirst, I know the man is married.

But even his marriage makes every sister out there beam with pride. Why? Because he is married to a sister! It’s hard to explain to non-Black people, and you know what? I’ll admit it’s even a little ignorant. But in a world where hashtags like #ruinaBlackgirlsMonday exist, or having Black girls and women be told they are the least desired by American men – regardless of race – it’s just nice to see this real-life representation. It restores a little faith in America. Is that weird? Probably. But I don’t care.

Anyway, aside from gracing the big and small screens with his talented performances, the man is also a self-professed abolitionist (I got that from his twitter), and an activist who is a board member of The Advancement Project, a multi-racial civil rights organization. All this, and the fact that he is technically a Chicagoan, which means he probably supports the Bears and more importantly loathes the Packers, are definitely supportive arguments for Jesse being the most perfect man in history. (The one thing that could potentially make him supersede perfection, is if he were to be a futbol fan, specifically, an Arsenal fan…)

As further evidence of Jesse’s perfection, I would also like you to watch this video which may go down in the history of “Best things that ever happened on television ever,” where he tells CNN (and America) off, with regards to the Mike Brown death. And might I add, that he did this in a hoodie. If you don’t get the political message and act of resistance behind this, I suggest you ask your nearest available token Black friend.

Intelligent, handsome, secure, talented, and amazing in just about every way possible, I really don’t think there is any shadow of a doubt left: Jesse Williams is simply the most perfect man in history.

But just to appease the doubters and haters (because there always are), I will ALSO add that he even enjoys pizza. And tweets about it:

And he’s also the king of Twitter. And knows how to shut people down like this:

(I think the person he responded to above, quit Twitter. I would too after that.)

And this:

So on behalf of humanity, thank you Jesse. Thank you for your perfection. Mankind, but most especially womankind, appreciates it.

Featured image – Shutterstock