Are You In Love Or Not – A PowerPoint Presentation
By Heiko Julien
The boardroom is still.
I load the file and shine a red laser pointer on the screen.
“Most every action is motivated out of a sense of love or fear.”
“A few examples:
“When they turn the lights down and announce which college that basketball players went to before the start of a game, that’s for love.”
“When they all jump up and bounce off each other, that’s for love.”
PowerPoint slide shows basketball players greeting and encouraging each other by leaping into the air and crashing off one another.
“When you don’t make eye contact with the cashier at the grocery store, you’re not in love.”
An uncomfortable silence fills room.
“When somebody tunes your piano, that ought to be for love.
Sometimes it is and sometimes it isn’t.”
“When you raise your children, that’s for love.
Sometimes it is and sometimes it isn’t.”
The tension is palpable.
“When they turn the lights down at Medieval Times and announce which kingdoms the knights are from before the tournament begins, that’s for love.”
PowerPoint slide shows knights jousting and there is light laughter.
“When you are making money, that ought to be about love.
Sometimes it is and sometimes it isn’t.”
The chairman of the board appears to become interested and leans in closer.
I have spent a lot of time saying nice things and not doing them
I thought I was in love but I must not have been
When I do not want to get out of bed in the morning
I am not in love
When I get irritated with you for asking a simple question
I am not in love
When I choose to be alone
I am in love but in a bad way
“You can’t get too close to other people without causing Extreme Emotional Confusion,” I continue.
“I’m not exactly sure why but I think it’s because you’re in too much of a weird kind of love that makes you not want to be in love as fast as possible.”
“But you can’t really get too close to yourself either.”
The board members murmur in agreement.
“I propose living adjacent to one’s environment.”
“If you get good enough at smiling and making facial expressions, people will let you slide on by.”
The board members smile and nod at each other.
“Inflect your voice and ask the right questions and people will give you a little bit of love.”
“An itty bitty hit of love dosage.
And you can keep on rolling.”
The presentation is over.
I am looking at the barista’s face.
She seems 40% tired, 32% anxious, 42% hopeful, 52% masked and affected.
“Thank you,” I say with 39% feeling and 76% sincerity.
A new data set emerges forecasting an upward trend.
Experts are cautiously optimistic.
So am I.