Why Marriage Scares The Sh*t Out Of Me
I like the idea of continually recommitting to someone because I voluntarily choose to, as opposed to because of a legally binding business contract.
I like the idea of continually recommitting to someone because I voluntarily choose to, as opposed to because of a legally binding business contract.
You make love to me with the lights on
So I’m forced to face my own weird fleshy cage
But now it doesn’t feel like that
My body is no longer the asylum I can’t check out of
My body finally feels like that temple everyone talks about
And my God, do I want to be worshipped
Maybe staying is an art form that can’t quite be perfected yet. Maybe the ones worth keeping are the ones that can barely be touched by our own fingertips.
You talk to him casually and you’ve almost convinced yourself that you’re done but then he flashes you that grin and you remember how he tastes and what he sounds like at 3 AM in the dark.
Every time I think I know what love is, I realize I am off by a fair mileage, a distance that I could run until the day I die and still not cover. I feel as though it is a treasure box, a secret jackpot, an unopened chest; something that carries all the answers. Something that we mildly seem to acknowledge the existence of, but for some reason have not unleashed.
Once I have saved my money and the routine seems to finally be over, I will be too old to adventure and see the world. So what was I really working for after all those years went by?
I hope, that if anyone reading this has or is having a similar experience to mine, that it helps to know you aren’t alone. You aren’t abnormal. University isn’t for everyone.
Thank you. Thank you for loosening the hinges on my brain. For helping me remember that a missed workout, an A-, and a changed plan was OKAY.
Sometimes I’ll hold conversations in my head, playing out hypothetical situations of us interacting. It’s relieving, almost cathartic, to spill what I have to say.
So today, I am choosing to focus on the possibilities and embracing the uncertainty of my future and that makes me a lot more excited for it.