You Don’t Have To Be An Expert To Get On TV
What astounded me was at no point did anyone question who I was or why I was there. The producers didn’t even ask for credentials.
The Strange Normalcy Of ‘Buckwild’
These kids are very loud, very plasticine, and somewhat hillbilly.
#CutForBieber
The sole reason #cut4bieber is still trending is people using the hashtag to decry its purpose.
What’s On Your Mind?
When Myspace first became popular, I put forth a Caulfieldian theory of how people behave online: People put forth the person they want to be, not who they are.
A Brief History Of My Writing Ages 8-14
Jack saves Rose by shooting Billy Zane with a blunderbuss then riding the Loch Ness Monster to the Statue of Liberty, where he defeats King Kong, hollows out his skeleton, and uses it as a house to raise his son, Dagger.
A Letter For Mom
Why do I distinctly remember you taking literal soup ladles of pills, some antipsychotic, some vitamins, and some an eternal mystery?
20 Children
They use their mom’s Netflix account to watch Drake and Josh. They don’t know whether Barack Obama is a Democrat or a Republican. They have no idea what Boy Meets World is and don’t care.
Questions I Have After Going To The Mall
How many Skrillex concerts do you have to attend to qualify for a job at Journeys?
Is Anything Rare Anymore?
I was transported back to Positively Records when I recently came across a Telegraph headline: “Rejected Beatles Audition Tape Discovered.” You have my goddamn attention.
The Ones Who Walk Away From Sugar Rush
For the unfamiliar, the film follows the adventures of the titular Ralph, an 8-bit video game villain bent on proving his innate goodness and worth by fighting through other arcade games to earn a medal, something his disparate video game co-workers have assured him will give him self-worth.