On Hiccoughs

In 2007, a 16-year-old Florida girl named Jennifer Mee received national press when she hiccoughed for over a month straight. After her hiccoughs went away, Today Show host Meredith Vieira asked Mee rhetorically—or so we thought—”What are you going to do for attention now?” Her answer became evident when headlines later read something like, “Hey, Remember That Hiccough Girl? Yeah, Police Say She Just Killed A Guy.”

Will The Real America Please Stand (All The Way) Up?

Literally: it’s unintentional, but I stand with my shoulders hunched forward and my back lazily reclined, which leaves my pelvis protruding. Set this in motion, and my crotch is like a cat’s whiskers, preceding my body and feeling for danger — or pleasure! — ahead.