How To Introduce Your Boyfriend
If you were anyone else, I’d worry about misinterpreted signals, but this relationship is so obviously platonic, so clearly brother-sisterly, I don’t worry about it.
Monologue Of A Willfully Malicious Landlord
*Based on real emails
Yeehaw, Let’s Have Open Carry Gun Laws In Texas
Last week in Dallas, Texas, nearly 40 armed men, women, and children (!) waited outside a restaurant where a group of moms were eating tacos.
10 Signs You’re Dating a Baby
1. He Has Fat Little Hands Whenever you try to hold his hand, he instead wraps his chubby fingers around one…
10 Uplifting Reasons You’re Never Alone
Everyone gets lonely sometimes, even the popular people who seem glutted with interpersonal relationships and regular human contact. It’s perfectly natural…
13 Images Of Cats As Your Favorite Superheroes
The mind reels, unable to comprehend such an obvious void in the vast directory of images on the internet has gone unfilled until now, but here it is at last–Benedict Cumberbatch as a dapper cat.
6 Reasons Childhood Was Actually Terrible
There is a conception of childhood floating in the cultural stew that those first years are the best period of your…
You’re Too Fat, Cat
Your role as the primary affection receptacle remains unaffected, has only grown in fact, particularly after Human Jennifer left to “find a boyfriend with a real job.” More to love, more to squeeze, that’s what I say.
The Walking Dead Should Kill Off Rick
The primary reason I think Rick should be dispatched is because he’s basically dead already.
Let’s Ban High School Football
But while eliminating high school bullying entirely is tricky as children will always be psychopathic little goblins to some extent, this one’s easy: cancel football.