Because we are each unique little apples, each one a special pear. We are not specks of dust in an infinite darkness doing awful things to one another and coating those things with lies.
And so here I am looking at another blank piece of paper. In it, I see the totality of everything I have ever done
That’s only sort of a joke. I really did need to live in a world where everything had been neutered, at least until marriage, at which point I would be able to debase myself and another in every way imaginable. Because, the bible.
And it is so inexorably connected that it can cause palpable reactions in me, the kind of jumped-up sweat that should be reserved for when one realizes a bear is chasing them.
It would be nice if real emotion were allowed. Even in small bursts, people on the internet are capable of being heartfelt. I think.
As long as a believer does not forcibly tell others that the feeling was divine so they can restrict others into a constructed morality, it’s cool. In other words, as long as they don’t use religion.
Because, even as I write this, I am scared I will die alone. I am scared I will never be able to support a wife and children because I cannot do math.
If that person has the best buns and their heart is true and they bring home the most bacon or cook the best bacon, you could feel it the moment they wake up and you see their face or backside, and that feeling might not turn off until your eyes are closed and your head is against the pillow.
We lived in a rural community and sometimes I could have stepped outside and yelled her name and she would have heard. I never did, though I often wanted to. Perhaps such a desire is what l— is.
1. What the internet does not need is one more opinion on Girls, so here are 14.