Thought.is

How do you do…all of that? Teach me everything. Let’s also Little Mermaid this sh*t while we’re at it and give me your voice.

This is for anyone who grew up thinking (or current thinks) they are not beautiful because the people who they see called beautiful by society don’t look anything like them.

Letting my grandkids go through my closet and try on clothes from when I was young. Becoming the Carrie Bradshaw of orthopedic shoes.

I dream of being this proficient in emoji use. As it is, I pretty much only use the dancing girl in the red dress, the various alcoholic beverages, and all the weapons.

Text messages are like painkillers: They are not always bad, and can actually often be used for good, but when mishandled, can really f*ck up your life.

Labels are most commonly utilized by people who are either too lazy or too fearful to attempt to understand the actual nature of a person: complex, contradictory, and evolving.

You’re pretty much just going to sit there and eat and poop and burp and ask me to pull my boobs out from time to time? Yup. That’s what I thought.

1. Collect distracting objects. 2. Trap them.

“You can’t just come in when people have a culture that’s been laid down for generations and you come in and now sh*t gotta change because you’re here?”

I get that blow jobs and old school peen-in-a-hole sexing are awesome, but still, it’s someone’s hand. On your penis. It feels great. Let’s not be a b*tch about this.