Dubious Advice For College Freshmen

My freshman year, I didn’t drink at all. One of my best friends got blackout drunk on his way to a theme party, to which he was wearing a leather skirt and no underwear. He passed out and had to be taken to the hospital. The EMTs refused to move him until his roommate wrangled him into some boxers. Is his life richer and more nuanced for having that experience? Probably not. He has a story now, but you know who else also has that story? Everyone else.