How Not To Gain A Thousand Pounds During The Holidays
As you may have discovered, there is no possible way to maintain a normal diet in December. Egg nog, panettone and…
How To Wait In Line This Holiday Season
Humans go crazy in December. From far away it might look like an ant hill on the sidewalk. Instead of crushing…
How To Avoid Your Family This Holiday Season
Just be drunk.
How To Call Your Grandparents
Old people are old. This has many social implications.
Don’t Get Discouraged
Things can be confusing when you’re still figuring things out in your life. That’s just a part of the human experience.…
How To Feel Hot
Feeling hot is a way of life. Being hot and feeling hot are two different things but also kind of the…
What It Is Like To Eat This Pecan Right Now
I am saddened that I have already swallowed. The pecan is gone.
What It Is Like To Eat This Apricot Right Now
The texture is rough and reminds me of human skin, like ball sacks, and/or when I bit my cuticles off my fingers and swallow them, which I secretly really enjoy.
How To Have A Good Time
GOOD TIME. What is good time? What is bad time?
How To Have Fun At A Party
People like to have parties to celebrate good things that happen to them in their lives, or sometimes they just have…