Look, I get it. I’m sooooo bad at texting (what does that even mean, why is that a thing people say?) and so I understand why it’s taken you this long to answer me (I don’t understand, your phone is glued to your face).
I’m only able to consistently tolerate, like, 3-4 people. In total. None of them are family members. Two of them are dogs.
There is an age at which you no longer can binge drink vodka out of a plastic handle without suffering the most soul-crushing hangover of your life, and that age is approximately two weeks after you turn 22.
The King of the Red Wines, Cabernet Sauvignon is bold and strong—which is why it’s perfect for cleansing your palate when you feel the bile building up upon realizing that Jason met his new girlfriend on Bumble.
Drunk arguments. Becoming a foodie. Passive-aggression.
I feel things. Like, really feel them. I am constantly feeling. If someone is crying in front of me, I cry harder and louder. I am always crying—metaphorically and literally. My soul is so, so old.
You were way more emotionally invested in him than he was in you. Mostly because he didn’t know who you were. And also because you just fell in love with his Twitter.
How do you make your Thanksgiving standout from the rest? Here’s a list of unique items that are must-haves if you’re looking to revolutionize Turkey Day.
We find ways to unify and come together by expressing our thoughts and by voicing our ideas. When there’s silence, there’s nothing to join in solidarity with. There’s nothing to grow from.
Pretend you don’t see them. Once the Leader—probably named something like Brynlee—notices that you’re looking in the group’s direction, she will attack.