What All Your Mom’s Vague Status Updates Are About
The fact that I’m banging your mother probably comes as a shock to you. After all, I’m your best friend.
10 Ways To Fart At The Office Without Getting Caught
At all times you should be aware of the noise level in the room. That way you can adjust the volume of your anal audio so no one can hear you.
What Your Favorite Top-10 Pop Song Says About You
1. “Fancy,” Iggy Azalea Featuring Charli XCX
You’ve been dying for a song to come out that sounds like Lil Kim scissoring Gwen Stefani while Ke$ha watches and masturbates to an Insane Clown Posse beat.
Turkey’s Bizarre Laws Against Naughty Words
I hope we never cross that line here in the US. No government should be given the power to ban words.
The Upcoming Xbox Video Game Destiny Is Racist Propaganda
If you can read between the lines like I can, there are all sorts of things to get offended by.
I’ve Become What I Ate—An Ode To Crispy Bacon
I want bacon so crispy that when other things touch it, they become crispier themselves.
Date A Girl Who Kills
Date a girl who kills because no matter what you do you’ll be the sane one in the relationship.
19 Signs That You’re Obsessed With Stephen King’s The Dark Tower
2. You’ve said, “There are other worlds than these” at a funeral.
I Almost Burned Down The Comedy Cellar With An Electronic Cigarette
Never, ever charge your e-cig with the wrong charger. You might destroy a New York City landmark and blow up one of your favorite stand-up comedians in the process.
Learning To Love The Blogosphere Through Hardcore BDSM
A dominatrix pretending to be blogger Lindy West stood before me in white patent-leather gear.