The feelings of inadequacy aren’t rooted in reality, they’re rooted in fear. And everyone, at one point or another, is scared. But that doesn’t mean you don’t stack up to everyone else so much as it just means you’re a normal human being.
Candy hearts taste like chalk sweetened with aspartame.
“When I’m not working, I am the laziest person. I can literally lie on a couch and watch television for 15 hours. I hate people who say, ‘Oh, I’m addicted to working out.’ I want to punch those people in the face.”
If you want to fall in love in 2016, think about why. Is it because every other person fell in love, got engaged, or created a life in 2015? Is it because you feel like you’ll be behind the pack if you don’t find love before age 26, 36, or 46?
If you go to a bar, and there isn’t a place for you to sit down, you’re not lasting longer than an hour.
Your touch. The way your hand feels when it slips underneath theirs. The way your body fits into theirs when they hug you.
All Day Breakfast: Christmas Edition
If you boil ginger and lemon into hot water it will warm your entire body and cure any cold you have. Boil two cups of water, throw in a full piece of diced ginger, and squeeze half a lemon into the pot. Let it stew for 10 minutes. It’s a cure-all.
On Jeb Bush: “Didn’t we already have him? He looks a lot like the last one.”
Learning their underwear size, but not to buy sexy lingerie, just because you realized how much they really needed new underwear.