Thought.is

2. No school shootings happened: Um, yeah. None.

While other countries endure political and social turmoil, the United States media only had to concentrate on the Gitmo situation. Here’s a few other things you may have missed.

Do you ever feel like the topics discussed at happy hour are a foreign language? Like, “how did I miss that viral video?” or “a plane really disappeared last month?” To get you up to speed for tonight’s happy hour discussions, I compiled the below list on the essentials.

This article is written mainly for men my age who had a fulfilled childhood; or even to women my age, who were either really freaking cool or who had older brothers.

Anytime you play with a dog, your balls automatically get vacuumed right up into your stomach.

We’d sincerely appreciate it if you all just retired already, we’ll take it from here. Grab your mops Millennials, we have a lot of work to do.

People are sick. You have to admit though; it would be interesting to pick at the brains of history’s most evil men.

9. What is this obsession that you people have with all things deep-fried?

I used to be a proud Arizonan. The Wild West, gun slingers, Wyatt Earp, the Salt River, incredible sunsets, ancient Native American cliff dwellings, snowcapped mountain peaks, and home to one of the True Wonders of the World.