Thought.is

  Do we all have friends like this? I don’t know. If we do, we should probably slap them.

Why does this commercial for Lean Pockets® brand sandwiches feature a sexy yoga master? Why are we watching a mesmerizing, voracious, shirtless MMA Fighter eating a delicious pretzel sandwich with his gloves on? Are these two definitely about to get it on?

1. Saying “no” when it’s necessary.

As I lay in bed I look at the TV that’s silent and staticky… I kept thinking about how I would kill myself.

My father texts and calls me constantly asking if I’m okay, which makes me wonder if people who don’t live in New York think that the hurricane is still happening. Although his incessant barrage of questions annoy me, it’s better than not being called.

There will be times when you feel your loneliness will swallow you. Don’t beat off, you’ll feel worse after.

That night, a bomb went off in downtown Atlanta. We awoke to full-coverage on the news. Over one hundred injured, at least 2 dead.

Todrick went full out and hired a full cast to act out the hoodrat version (featuring Antoine Dodson of “Hide yo’ kids, hide yo’ wife” fame). Take off your PC hats and please to enjoy.

I don’t care if your full-time job is licking envelopes at a nuclear waste plant, it’s an accomplishment if you’ve managed to secure a salaried position ANYWHERE.