Breaking Down This Hipster Wedding Party Based On Their Assigned La Croix Flavors


It’s the drink of choice for hipsters everywhere, from the Burroughs of Brooklyn to the sidewalks of Seattle. No, we’re not talking craft beer or nitrogen infused coffee.

We’re talking La Croix.

The sparkling beverage, once simply the staple for MidWest art teachers and moms, is now everywhere from Whole Foods to book launches. It’s graced the headlines of pretty much every digital conglomerate, and has become a ‘must have’ for millennials who are looking to get their water fix.

And now, it’s hit weddings.

So many thoughts about this hipster wedding party, with its matching suspenders, remote camp location, and knock-off Wayfarers. How many times these photos are going to end up on some girls Pinterest board? (Answer: the limit does not exist.)

And, most importantly, we have so many thoughts on the personality of each groomsman based on his assigned flavor of La Croix.

We here at TC are no stranger to the personality examination. So we thought it would be best to breakdown the personality of each groomsmen, based on his assigned La Croix/color. You know, for science.

Berry (aka: Purple)

Everyone knows that while Berry is a very aesthetically pleasing can of La Croix, it’s not going to be anyone’s pick of the litter. But Brad’s a no complainer – he’s here to be the ride or die groomsmen. And Brad? Brad’s on a schedule. He has a Berry LC to down, a slice of cake to eat, an a dance floor to hit with the Cha Cha slide. Brad takes no prisoners at weddings. You do you, Brad.

Pamplemousse (aka: Blue)

Craig, clearly the Groom’s nephew or much younger cousin, had never had La Croix before this event. He still doesn’t know how to pronounce it. He likes to brag about how he’s never broken a bone in his body and is really stoked to wear his new sunnies to class next week.

Lemon (aka: Yellow)

Doug’s main goal is to get everyone together at the end of the “assigned” wedding activities to play flag football. He called his assigned bridesmaid “m’lady” all weekend. He also took over behind the bar to mix everyone a Lemon La Croix and Vodka, which to be fair, is an excellent cocktail.

Lime (aka: Green)

Oscar. Is. Ready. To. Party. He’s already jazzed that he was given the best flavor of La Croix to represent, and he can’t wait to ride that wave all the way to the bank for the rest of the reception. If you’ve ever lost Oscar during the evening just look for a group of people in a circle who are clapping in time to the music. He’s most likely in the center doing the worm to a 2006 Usher song.

Red/The Groom (aka: repeat Pamplemousse because according to the Groom, those were the flavors at his local store.)

Alex is a trooper. Fiancée says, “HONEY, we’re having a sparkling water themed wedding!!!!” he just says, “You got it.” She says, “IN A BARN,” he says, “Sounds magical.” She says, “LOOK AT MY PINTEREST BOARD,” he says, “I cannot wait.” You rule, Alex. You rule.

All jokes aside, Alex’s wedding looked A) freakin’ adorable and B) incredibly creative. We’re just salty that we didn’t think of it first.

Congrats to Alex and his Bride!