Escape The Cold; Be A Cowgirl


“Well I’m packing up my game and I’m a head out west / Where real women come equipped with scripts and fake breasts.”

Kid Rock…bet you haven’t heard that name in awhile, huh? Just the mention of his name has me feeling weird. But it’s hard to argue with him when he makes such a convincing point as he does in the lyrics above. I mean, let’s survey the facts here: scripts? fake breasts? Does it get any more real than that?

The answer would be yes, it does – when the apex of winter hits and you’re battling 8-degree weather.

No, this “west” that Kid Rock speaks of doesn’t feel real to me at all. What kind of place rewards you for “riding at night cause I sleep all day”? Also, “Find Motown and tell them fools to come back home”? In what stratosphere is this a good idea? And approximately how long would it take me to get there, via car, according to Google Maps?

I just want to have the option of basking in my usual, everyday, gratuitous pleasures – really, that’s all. I tried playing according to your rules, world, and look what that got me: a dry throat, cracked skin, and a life expectancy shortened by a bout a decade. To stay merely afloat, I guzzle copious tablets of vitamin C a day. Who has time to match their bowed blouse to their shoes when we can’t even feel the snot dripping from our own noses?

I could take the typical route and try to offer you some advice in the form of warm clothes; but again, what’s the point when whatever clothing you choose will ultimately be shrouded by yet another layer?

Right now our only chance of happiness seems to be in this elusive “west” Kid Rock speaks of – that is, in ignoring this deathly weather and reveling in clothes that are at once wholly impractical and dreamy. The phrase “dress for the job you want, not the job you have” comes to mind. Only in this case we’re dressing for the weather we want, not the weather we have. Feels as hopeful as a rain dance, doesn’t it?

To help get you in the mood, peruse some cool cowgirls below and then the list I compiled of cowgirl-themed clothes just a click away.

1. Moschino cut-out jeans.

2. Biltmore® & Madewell panama hat

3. Toga Pulla zebra print suede four buckle boots.

4. 1970s western shirt.

5. Chimala® denim western shirt.

6. Dora alpaca scarf.

7. Canvas wide-brimmed hat.

8. Vintage fringed suede mini.

9. Sensi Studio’s feather-trimmed toquilla straw Panama hat.

10. Leather bucket bag with fringes.

11. Vintage rockmount ranchwear silk cowboy shirt.