Everything You Thought You Wanted From Him

You think you want Reliability. Because He’s unreliable and depending on Him never makes you feel safe. You think you want Someone to reply their texts on time and not cancel on your appointments; to be where you need them to be, when you need them to be there.

You think you want Honesty. Because He’s shady and you’ve heard enough of His selfish fiction. You think you want Someone to tell you the truth, regardless of how bad it could make them look; to want to be 100% honest with you, and to want 100% of your honesty back.

You think you want Ambition. Because He’s a dreamer and builds you both up on plans that He doesn’t see through. You think you want Someone to take the first step in being the person they’d set out to be; to build a future, made out of something you can actually see.

You think you want Commitment. Because He’s all over the place and you never know when His loyalty could be uprooted by time spent with somebody else. You think you want Someone to convince you that you’re more important; to remain unwavering despite what others say.

Then Someone comes along, with Reliability and Honesty and Ambition and Commitment. And all these things you think you want.

Someone gives you a call every night to make sure you’re okay.

Someone shares with you the ugliest parts of themselves and assures you, you can do the same.

Someone is motivated to be better; who you know they could be.

Someone puts you first.

And for a while, you think, I could be happy.

But it never takes long for you to finally realise,

that Someone isn’t what you want.

What you want isn’t Reliability.

It’s Reliability from Him.

What you want isn’t Honesty.

It’s Honesty from Him.

What you want isn’t Ambition.

It’s Ambition from Him.

What you want isn’t Commitment.

It’s Commitment from Him.

So no matter how much Someone is always reliable and honest and ambitious and committed,
you are never truly happy.

Because what you really want

is for Someone to be Him.