How To Find A Relationship When You Feel Like You Are Too Damaged To Be Loved


Love is a battlefield, especially for those of us who often ask ourselves, “Am I too damaged to be in a relationship?” Pat Benatar may have put it perfectly.

The truth is, you are never too damaged to be in a relationship or to be loved. You are deserving and worthy of love, no matter what phase of life you are in.

More than half the battle is remaining open to receiving love.

Some say that love is easier to find at a younger age, that there are fewer options and a smaller pool of single people as one gets older. They say when people haven’t been hurt before, they are more open to giving and receiving love. And sure, it is annoying that the older we get we can’t escape that everyone has a significant ex.

Reality check: People break up all the time, divorce is much more socially acceptable than it has ever been, and the single life is appealing to more people than ever before.

The great thing about the trending single life is that more people can comfortably be patient as they align themselves with their divine match rather than settle for the most convenient and available breathing human.

You don’t have to be perfect to be loved.

Everyone has flaws. Take yourself off the hook. Stop defining yourself by your flaws, pointing at them as the reason you aren’t lovable.

If you think some emotional PTSD from childhood trauma or an abusive relationship is going to stop people from wanting to date you, that just isn’t true.

If you are concerned that there is something about you that is too damaged, broken, or not enough, you can release that right now because being imperfect and flawed is being human. And humans love each other.

When it comes to finding love after a divorce or major break up, one of the best ways to be open is to be open to receive love.

There is a bit of a paradox when it comes to aligning yourself to receive love because you must become love in order to attract it. Like attracts like.

So if you want a relationship that is filled with love, joy, and passion, you must first be those things yourself. And you must be them for the sake of being them.

Life happens when we are busy doing other things.

Do you know how they say you can’t find love if you’re looking for it? Instead of searching for a person, search for joy. Search for creativity. Search for play. Search for adventure.

Finding true and lasting love is the second bird that is killed with one stone. It’s a result of staying committed to your evolution. When we stay playful and creative, we heal ourselves.

What does creativity have to do with healing from the belief that you are too damaged for love?

The sacral chakra governs our creativity, sexuality, and ability to give and receive pleasure. This chakra has a lot to do with our relationships as being able to give and receive joy and pleasure on any level, sexual or otherwise, is an essential building block of the foundation of a relationship.

We may find it easier to find love when we are younger simply because we more easily give ourselves permission to have fun and experience pleasure, maybe we had less responsibilities.

Therefore, it is not about the age, but rather the state of mind that opens us up to love. Having a healed sacral chakra as a result of creative expression and prioritizing your experience of joy and pleasure whether through play or creativity is what aligns our energy to experience those feelings with another person.

This is available to us at any age if we make joy, play, creativity, and childlike wonderment a priority as adults as much as we do when we are kids.

If you are constantly telling yourself you are too damaged to be loved, take that as a signal from your sacral chakra that you need more joy, pleasure, and fun in your life.

Perhaps there is some healing that could put you in better alignment for love, but the process is often more so about what brings us joy and taking time for play rather than finding ourselves on the proverbial therapist couch perseverating on all of the things that hurt us.

There is always a purpose for examining wounds and discussing pain with someone who can hold space for us, but when it comes to overcoming the fear of being too damaged for love, it’s time to play, create, and have fun.

We can still be in the process of healing our wounds and be in a healthy and happy relationship. Healing is a journey.

If you feel there is something deeper within you blocking you from being able to even fathom being playful and romantic with yourself or another it may be a good idea to seek help!