I Am Terrified Of Love, But I Will Still Choose It
By Lily Low
I talk a lot about speaking with love, acting with love, and living with love. There is so much of darkness in our world, but if each person takes the small step of being kind in place of being selfish – it can do wonders. Although my core message is always about spreading love and positivity anywhere we go, I am terrified of love.
I am terrified of letting myself be vulnerable; for someone to truly know my thoughts and in turn holds the key to absolutely destroy me.
I am terrified of letting myself feel; of letting my heart get in the way of my head.
I am terrified of letting myself be exposed to hurt; to let down the walls I have so carefully constructed over the years.
I am terrified of unreciprocated love; to allow myself the chance to fall but ending up falling too hard and too far down.
I am terrified of breaking trust; of letting others and letting myself down.
I am terrified of the idea of loving again; of standing face to face with the idea of love not being guaranteed.
I am terrified of myself; that I will forever be bound by the chains of my own mind.
But I don’t want to stay stuck forever.
I may be terrified of the prospect of uncertainty; but I should worry about the things I can change in that moment rather than letting my mind run over everything wrong.
I may be terrified of opening up my heart again; but I will choose to remind myself that I am still a whole fraction even with or without a significant other.
I may be terrified by my own thoughts; but I will choose to remember that it was said, ‘Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.’
I may be terrified of breaking down; but I will choose to proclaim the truth that a breakthrough God shall provide instead.
I may be terrified of love; but I will choose to remind myself that He is in control of my future.